¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What video game do you think is best and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-04-22 553

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, Minecraft is the best game I ever played.
I can do a lot of things in the game, and also it's interesting everyday.
Also it is keep updating so I can experience a lot of new sources in the game every year.
I can play some maps that are made by other players, and also I can play with other players.
Because of these reasons, I think that Minecraft is the best game that I ever played.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

Most kids nowadays love that! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

In my opinion, Minecraft is the best game I ever played.
>> CORRECT

I can do a lot of things in the game, and also it's interesting everyday.
>> I can do a lot of things in that game, and it's very interesting to play everyday.

Also it is keep updating so I can experience a lot of new sources in the game every year.
>> It keeps on updating so I can experience a lot of new sources in the game every year.

I can play some maps that are made by other players, and also I can play with other players.
>> I can play on some maps that are made by other players, and play with other players too. 

Because of these reasons, I think that Minecraft is the best game that I ever played.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121055 How do you think can racism be stopped? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-26 758
121054 School uniform does not stop bullying and may increase violent... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-26 625
121053 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 508
121052 7/25 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 613
121051 When is a white lie acceptable? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 432
121050 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 1
121049 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 886
121048 Give a short summary of the paragraph about JOB PROMOTION. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 604
121047 What kind of job do you want to get in the future? What kind of... ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 695
121046 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 1
121045 What things about summer do you like most and least? What do you... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 614
121044 07.25.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 1
121043 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 0
121042 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 0
121041 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 3
121040 Do you think having a pet is good? Why or why not? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 945
121039 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 832
121038 Where do you like to go on vacation? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 973
121037 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 668
121036 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04