¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

2022.4.22

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àü*
2022-04-23 622

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK:
Kindly answer the following in essay form.
If you can change something about your lifestyle, what would it be and why?

I chanced my room. Because I don¡¯t like nows style.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Anne! 

Yes, that would be a big improvement in your lifestyle. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

I chanced my room. Because I don¡¯t like nows style.
>> I would like to change my room because I don't like the style of it now. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120895 Describe a time of the day you like ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1
120894 What influences other people in their dreams or ambition? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1155
120893 Many people today put personal information online for the needs... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 0
120892 The best way to make the road transport of goods safer is to ask... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 0
120891 What¡¯s the best way to travel? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 1004
120890 7/19 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 1029
120889 What activity do you like to do on a nice weather? ±è*°â ÁøÇàÁß 2022-07-19 1422
120888 ? ±è*¿± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 1124
120887 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 1
120886 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 832
120885 Why do you think the US has so much interest in the \'Chip 4\'... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 990
120884 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 2
120883 If I were to give someone advice on how to study English well. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 799
120882 What can we do to protect ourselves against cancer? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 1090
120881 Why are some people not interested in sport? ÃÖ*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 1502
120880 Do you think that religion is important? Why or why not? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 1094
120879 What one thing can transform the business to a higher level?,... À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 1025
120878 Are men better chefs than women or are women better chefs than... ä*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 823
120877 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 1
120876 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 664

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04