¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can change something about your lifestyle, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-04-23 395

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can do it, I would want to quit smoking. I've done for 5 years. Even though I know that smoking is bad for me, I can't still quit it until now. But now, It's a time to quit it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic! 

Yes, that would be a big improvement in your lifestyle. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

If I can do it, I would want to quit smoking. 
>>  CORRECT

I've done for 5 years.
>> I've been doing this for 5 years.

Even though I know that smoking is bad for me, I can't still quit it until now. 
>> Even though I know that smoking is bad for me, I still can't quit it until now. 

But now, It's a time to quit it.
>> But now, it's time to quit it.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118379 2022.4.19 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 264
118378 What kind of exercise do you think is best? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 1
118377 Is there a kind of beverage that you will never try? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 320
118376 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 1
118375 What makes me happy. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 284
118374 Why I would not to be a pilot ±è*¼º ÁøÇàÁß 2022-04-21 376
118373 What song would you like to dedicate to your parents and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 346
118372 Writing Task(Apr 19th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 252
118371 krowemoh 02/4 ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 270
118370 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 2
118369 I will read book the 1st. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 241
118368 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 3
118367 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 0
118366 Answer in complete sentences ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 268
118365 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 1
118364 What do you want to include in your ideal fitness program? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 369
118363 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 2
118362 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 247
118361 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 298
118360 If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 285

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04