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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Hi, Elly! I need to edit it.

작성자: 류*선
2022-04-25 636

회원님의 영작문

I just started majoring in Marriage and Family Therapy at Daybreak University. One of my goals is that after graduating from this University, I would like to be a Marriage and Family Therapist. The reason why I would like to be a therapist is to heal and transform myself, my family, and the people around me. As an ordained pastor in Korean Methodist Church, I yearn to let people know God’s love through my profession. My husband is a pastor at Henderson UMC. I usually visit with him when he does pastoral visitations and care. What I have learned so far is that if pastors or their spouses have a professional license in counseling or therapy that would be great for effective ministry. If I got the chance to help people who have to suffer from marriage and family issues, I want to be the one who can help and support them. Above all else, as a person, mom, and pastor’s wife, I expect growth in my innermost self through studying at Daybreak University.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Pastor,
I hope the editing was to your satisfaction.
May GOD open the doors for you.
GOD bless and take care.
T.Elly.
Hi, Elly! I need to edit it.
CORRECT!
or>>I have to edit this.
I just started majoring in Marriage and Family Therapy at Daybreak University. 
>>I just started studying at Daybreak University, majoring in Marriage and Family Therapy.  
One of my goals is that after graduating from this University, I would like to be a Marriage and Family Therapist. 
CORRECT!
or>>One of my goals is to be a Marriage and Family Therapist after graduating from the University,. 
The reason why I would like to be a therapist is to heal and transform myself, my family, and the people around me. 
CORRECT!
or>>I would like to be a therapist because I need some healing and transformation myself, including my family, and the people around me. 
As an ordained pastor in the Korean Methodist Church, I yearn to let people know about God’s love through my profession. 
CORRECT!
or>>As an ordained pastor in a Korean Methodist Church, I yearn to show the people and let them know about God’s love through my profession. 
My husband is a pastor at Henderson UMC. 
CORRECT!
or>>My husband works as a pastor at Henderson UMC. 
I usually visit with him when he does pastoral visitations and care. 
>>I usually go with him when he does pastoral visitations and care. 
What I have learned so far is that if pastors or their spouses have a professional license in counseling or therapy that would be great for effective ministry. 
>>What I have learned so far is that if pastors or their spouses have a professional license in counseling or therapy, it would help them greatly in having an effective ministry. 
If I got the chance to help people who have to suffer from marriage and family issues, I want to be the one who can help and support them. 
>>If I got the chance to help people who are suffering from marriage and family issues, I want to be the one who can help and support them. 
Above all else, as a person, mom, and pastor’s wife, I expect growth in my innermost self through studying at Daybreak University.
>>Above all else, as a person, a mom, and a pastor’s wife, I expect growth in my innermost self through studying at Daybreak University.

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