¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Thank you!!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¼±
2022-04-25 754

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I'm sure that this award will assist me to complete these goals. As a full-time mom, I am not able to get a job since parenting a 2-year-old baby, I need help with financial tuition now. So If I get the chance to get this award, it will be a big help for me.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paster - Jisun is a faithful and active member at Henderson UMC. She did her best to visit members of Henderson UMC and they enjoy time with her very much. She is very passionate and supportive of church activities and worship services.

Hi, Elly!
I have to edit this article to apply for a scholarship. I need your help. thanks!!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Pastor Jisun,
Your writing composition is actually fantastic!
I just did some slight corrections.
May GOD HIMSELF open doors for you!
GOD bless you greatly pastor!
Teacher Elly. 
Thank you!!
I'm sure that this award will assist me to complete these goals. 
CORRECT!
or>>I'm certain that this award will help me in completing these goals. 
As a full-time mom, I am not able to get a job since parenting a 2-year-old baby, I need help with financial tuition now. 
>>As a full-time mom, I am not able to get a job since parenting a 2-year-old baby, I need help with my finances in order to pay for my tuition now. 
So If I get the chance to get this award, it will be a big help for me.
>>So If I get a chance to win this award, it will be a big help for me.
Paster - Jisun is a faithful and active member at Henderson UMC. 
>>Pastor Jisun is a faithful and an active member at the Henderson UMC. 
She did her best to visit members of Henderson UMC and they enjoy time with her very much. 
>>She does her best in visiting the members of Henderson UMC and they are enjoying their time with her very much. 
She is very passionate and supportive of church activities and worship services.
>>She is very passionate and supportive of the church activities and worship services.
Hi, Elly!
I have to edit this article to apply for a scholarship. I need your help. thanks!!
Hi, Elly!
CORRECT!
or>>I need this article edited in order to apply for a scholarship. I need your help please. thanks!!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119402 How could you help someone quit his vice? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 661
119401 According to the article, the bigger and better solution to the... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 549
119400 What do you think is the most challenging part about raising a... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 652
119399 Do you believe that Artificial Intelligence will change the... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 513
119398 Training ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 2
119397 Notification ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 1
119396 Healthy life! À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 643
119395 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 1
119394 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 2
119393 Hobby ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 2
119392 Safe ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 2
119391 Drama ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 3
119390 What activity do you like best when you are with your book club... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-28 626
119389 What do you think is the importance of having personal space and... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-28 501
119388 What do you think is the biggest problem your country is facing? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-28 327
119387 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-28 506
119386 5.27 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-28 663
119385 Living below the poverty line. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-28 539
119384 Writing Task(May 23th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-27 502
119383 5/27 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-27 520

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04