¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which one do you think is better, electronic books or traditional books, and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-04-28 350

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, traditional books are better than electronic books.
First, reading an electronic book may hurt our eyes.
As you know, watching our phones a lot could hurt our eyes (and so as electronic books).
Second, We can feel a specific emotion by reading a traditional book.
A traditional book is made of paper, so we can feel specific emotions by reading it.
Because of these reasons, I think that traditional books are better than electronic books.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

I prefer traditional books too because most of the facts there are accurate. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

In my opinion, traditional books are better than electronic books.
>>  CORRECT

First, reading an electronic book may hurt our eyes.
>> CORRECT

As you know, watching our phones a lot could hurt our eyes (and so as electronic books)
>> CORRECT

Second, We can feel a specific emotion by reading a traditional book.
>> Second, we can feel a specific emotion by reading a traditional book.

A traditional book is made of paper, so we can feel specific emotions by reading it.
>> CORRECT

Because of these reasons, I think that traditional books are better than electronic books.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117740 Thank you for checking the English composition every time. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-26 516
117739 What do you think is the most dangerous eye problem? Why? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 468
117738 What do you think is the best TV show and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 955
117737 3/25 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 862
117736 Writing Task(Mar 23th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1069
117735 Good evening! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 904
117734 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 853
117733 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1
117732 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 786
117731 How old were you when you went on your first flight? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 6
117730 If I could be an animal ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 623
117729 Food I want to eat. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 494
117728 If you could edit your memories, which ones would you erase and... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 788
117727 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 457
117726 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 611
117725 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1345
117724 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1087
117723 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 647
117722 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1008
117721 HOMEWORK ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 845

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04