¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which one do you think is better, electronic books or traditional books, and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-04-28 502

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, traditional books are better than electronic books.
First, reading an electronic book may hurt our eyes.
As you know, watching our phones a lot could hurt our eyes (and so as electronic books).
Second, We can feel a specific emotion by reading a traditional book.
A traditional book is made of paper, so we can feel specific emotions by reading it.
Because of these reasons, I think that traditional books are better than electronic books.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

I prefer traditional books too because most of the facts there are accurate. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

In my opinion, traditional books are better than electronic books.
>>  CORRECT

First, reading an electronic book may hurt our eyes.
>> CORRECT

As you know, watching our phones a lot could hurt our eyes (and so as electronic books)
>> CORRECT

Second, We can feel a specific emotion by reading a traditional book.
>> Second, we can feel a specific emotion by reading a traditional book.

A traditional book is made of paper, so we can feel specific emotions by reading it.
>> CORRECT

Because of these reasons, I think that traditional books are better than electronic books.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118550 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 635
118549 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 543
118548 Introduce ½É*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 613
118547 What was the lamest excuse you had before? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 700
118546 What do you plan on doing when you retire? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 797
118545 Test ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 546
118544 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1
118543 2022.4.26 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 446
118542 What does the holiday stand for? Why is this holiday celebrated? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 711
118541 best part of my life ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 703
118540 What is your best experience in life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 513
118539 Homewark ±è*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 1
118538 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 0
118537 4/26 homework (p≧w≦q) ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 498
118536 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 0
118535 What I want to change in Korea\'s education system. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 598
118534 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 4
118533 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 2
118532 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 1
118531 Writing Task(Apr 26th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 731

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04