¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think it¡¯s important to keep going.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÁØ
2022-05-03 583

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it¡¯s important to keep going.
Unfortunately, I can¡¯t do anything for a long time but for a short time I can focus.
I¡¯m always trying to make my time useful. I am very interested in the use of my spare time.
I have free time ten times a day. The free time is as short as 10 minutes and as long as 50 minutes.

1. As soon as I wake up, I post prepared English on my blog for 10 minutes.
2.~, 3.~
4.when I take a bus I study 3 words for 15minutes
5.when I walk from the bus stop to the company, I listen to a lecture about management~
6. After lunch, while taking a walk ~
7. When I get home from work, I listen to a lecture about English and post on Facebook.
In the future, when I post, I will try to post both in Korean and English. etc.
And then I participate in foreign worship services held in English every Sunday.
In about 3 months I hope to be as good as anyone I know in English. I really want to continue. I think this is how I can grow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elliot!

Thank you so much for doing well in this output. I do admire your hard work and your desire to improve a lot. I also believe that you can achieve English fluency. Wow! I can't believe you do all these things! I am quite ashamed because it seems like you make use of your free time much better than me. I wish I can be as productive as you!

As for your answers, I particularly like your use of the word "spare". Very good word choice! As for the corrections, they are only about the punctuation marks like missing commas, periods, and some capitalization at the beginning of sentences. Please remember to capitalize the first word of sentences.

I also think it is important to keep going, so keep it up, and I'll talk to you on Thursday.

-Teacher Violet.

I think it¡¯s important to keep going.
>> CORRECT!

     Unfortunately, I can¡¯t do anything for a long time but for a short time I can focus.
>> Unfortunately, I can¡¯t do anything for a long time but for a short time, I can focus.

I¡¯m always trying to make my time useful. 
>> CORRECT!

I am very interested in the use of my spare time.
>> CORRECT!

I have free time ten times a day. 
>> CORRECT!

The free time is as short as 10 minutes and as long as 50 minutes.
>> CORRECT!

1. As soon as I wake up, I post prepared English on my blog for 10 minutes.
>> CORRECT!

     4.when I take a bus I study 3 words for 15minutes
>> 4. When I take a bus I study 3 words for 15minutes.

     5.when I walk from the bus stop to the company, I listen to a lecture about management~
>> 5. When I walk from the bus stop to the company, I listen to a lecture about management~

6. After lunch, while taking a walk ~
>> CORRECT!

7. When I get home from work, I listen to a lecture about English and post on Facebook.
>> CORRECT!

     In the future, when I post, I will try to post both in Korean and English. etc.
>> In the future, when I post, I will try to post both in Korean and English, etc.

And then I participate in foreign worship services held in English every Sunday.
>> CORRECT!

In about 3 months I hope to be as good as anyone I know in English. 
>> CORRECT!

I really want to continue. 
>> CORRECT!

I think this is how I can grow.
>> CORRECT!


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118070 punishment ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 980
118069 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 1
118068 In what ways are credit cards better than cash? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 510
118067 Do you think fashion is important for people\'s lives? Why or... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ÁøÇàÁß 2022-04-07 542
118066 How did you greet your teachers in Cebu, Philippines before? ±è*¾ç ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 498
118065 202.4.6 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 761
118064 Does education guarantee a good job? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 1
118063 What was your favorite food as a child? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 636
118062 Writing Task(Apr 5th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 738
118061 Homework ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 1
118060 My favorite video games ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 621
118059 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 1
118058 What food do you try to avoid nowadays? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 1
118057 Do you think doctors are responsible in educating their patients... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 2
118056 Did you enjoy your time as a student? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 768
118055 4/6 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 567
118054 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 477
118053 What\'s the best thing about your parents? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 700
118052 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 1
118051 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04