¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think it¡¯s important to keep going.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÁØ
2022-05-03 710

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it¡¯s important to keep going.
Unfortunately, I can¡¯t do anything for a long time but for a short time I can focus.
I¡¯m always trying to make my time useful. I am very interested in the use of my spare time.
I have free time ten times a day. The free time is as short as 10 minutes and as long as 50 minutes.

1. As soon as I wake up, I post prepared English on my blog for 10 minutes.
2.~, 3.~
4.when I take a bus I study 3 words for 15minutes
5.when I walk from the bus stop to the company, I listen to a lecture about management~
6. After lunch, while taking a walk ~
7. When I get home from work, I listen to a lecture about English and post on Facebook.
In the future, when I post, I will try to post both in Korean and English. etc.
And then I participate in foreign worship services held in English every Sunday.
In about 3 months I hope to be as good as anyone I know in English. I really want to continue. I think this is how I can grow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elliot!

Thank you so much for doing well in this output. I do admire your hard work and your desire to improve a lot. I also believe that you can achieve English fluency. Wow! I can't believe you do all these things! I am quite ashamed because it seems like you make use of your free time much better than me. I wish I can be as productive as you!

As for your answers, I particularly like your use of the word "spare". Very good word choice! As for the corrections, they are only about the punctuation marks like missing commas, periods, and some capitalization at the beginning of sentences. Please remember to capitalize the first word of sentences.

I also think it is important to keep going, so keep it up, and I'll talk to you on Thursday.

-Teacher Violet.

I think it¡¯s important to keep going.
>> CORRECT!

     Unfortunately, I can¡¯t do anything for a long time but for a short time I can focus.
>> Unfortunately, I can¡¯t do anything for a long time but for a short time, I can focus.

I¡¯m always trying to make my time useful. 
>> CORRECT!

I am very interested in the use of my spare time.
>> CORRECT!

I have free time ten times a day. 
>> CORRECT!

The free time is as short as 10 minutes and as long as 50 minutes.
>> CORRECT!

1. As soon as I wake up, I post prepared English on my blog for 10 minutes.
>> CORRECT!

     4.when I take a bus I study 3 words for 15minutes
>> 4. When I take a bus I study 3 words for 15minutes.

     5.when I walk from the bus stop to the company, I listen to a lecture about management~
>> 5. When I walk from the bus stop to the company, I listen to a lecture about management~

6. After lunch, while taking a walk ~
>> CORRECT!

7. When I get home from work, I listen to a lecture about English and post on Facebook.
>> CORRECT!

     In the future, when I post, I will try to post both in Korean and English. etc.
>> In the future, when I post, I will try to post both in Korean and English, etc.

And then I participate in foreign worship services held in English every Sunday.
>> CORRECT!

In about 3 months I hope to be as good as anyone I know in English. 
>> CORRECT!

I really want to continue. 
>> CORRECT!

I think this is how I can grow.
>> CORRECT!


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116795 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 0
116794 Cell-phone is successful result of technology ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 0
116793 \"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man how... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 700
116792 what do you usually do with your family? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 886
116791 How does cheating affect our educational system? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 2
116790 How can the government assist in promoting being a vegetarian? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 4
116789 What is a \"bucket list\"? What are 5 things on your bucket list? ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1247
116788 homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1191
116787 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1415
116786 Could you compare yourself to a thing? What is it? and Why? ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1257
116785 If you could give advice to Korea\'s next president, what would... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1665
116784 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1444
116783 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 865
116782 What do you think is the best company to work at in your country... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1283
116781 Are instant noodles unhealthy? Why? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 4
116780 The weekend of the third. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 2
116779 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1119
116778 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 2
116777 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 739
116776 ESSAY Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1016

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04