¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which one do you think is better, living with relatives or living alone? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-05-04 423

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, living alone is much better than living with relatives.
First, there are a lot of differences between me and my relatives.
There are sometimes conflicts of opinions between me and my family, and me and my relatives will do so.
And also I just want to live alone if I don't have my own family.
Because of these reasons, living alone is much better than living with relatives for me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

Both has their pros and cons. It really depends on the person. Me, I prefer living alone because I like being independent.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

In my opinion, living alone is much better than living with relatives.
>> CORRECT

First, there are a lot of differences between me and my relatives.
>> CORRECT

There are sometimes conflicts of opinions between me and my family, and me and my relatives will do so.
>> Sometimes there are conflicts of opinions between me and my family. 

And also I just want to live alone if I don't have my own family.
>> Also, I want to live along even if I don't have my own family yet. 

Because of these reasons, living alone is much better than living with relatives for me. 
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118458 Email format ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-23 6
118457 Interrupt conversation ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-23 11
118456 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-23 1
118455 How to make spaghetti sauce ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-23 9
118454 2022.4.22 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-23 300
118453 4/22 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 406
118452 What is the best part of weekend vacation? What\'s the worst? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 384
118451 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 3
118450 How is the Internet affecting our intelligence? Describe your... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 404
118449 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 406
118448 part 2 ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 309
118447 Why do we need weekends? What are your plans for this weekend? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 383
118446 What restaurant in your country do you recommend a foreigner to... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 431
118445 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 195
118444 What do you think about the government\'s plan to allow people... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 2
118443 What benefits do you think the compulsory military will give to... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 396
118442 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 464
118441 What video game do you think is best and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 467
118440 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 356
118439 Money that should be used in the short term was saved in the... ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 337

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04