¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which one do you think is better, living with relatives or living alone? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-05-04 587

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, living alone is much better than living with relatives.
First, there are a lot of differences between me and my relatives.
There are sometimes conflicts of opinions between me and my family, and me and my relatives will do so.
And also I just want to live alone if I don't have my own family.
Because of these reasons, living alone is much better than living with relatives for me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

Both has their pros and cons. It really depends on the person. Me, I prefer living alone because I like being independent.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

In my opinion, living alone is much better than living with relatives.
>> CORRECT

First, there are a lot of differences between me and my relatives.
>> CORRECT

There are sometimes conflicts of opinions between me and my family, and me and my relatives will do so.
>> Sometimes there are conflicts of opinions between me and my family. 

And also I just want to live alone if I don't have my own family.
>> Also, I want to live along even if I don't have my own family yet. 

Because of these reasons, living alone is much better than living with relatives for me. 
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117690 Without weekends ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1
117689 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 816
117688 If you could have any food right now, what would it be? And why? ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1912
117687 Would you rather live in a house or an apartment? Why or why... ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1099
117686 Good evening °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1156
117685 Which one is better, studying abroad or studying in South Korea?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1224
117684 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 928
117683 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1219
117682 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1
117681 House and apartment. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1286
117680 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1336
117679 I will advise them to stop smoking. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1065
117678 In Korea! ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 896
117677 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 2
117676 What are your expectations to your host family aside from being... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1
117675 Definition Of Soul Matters ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1689
117674 office ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 855
117673 Answer to \"How will you stay fit in the U.S. when all the food... ¹Ý*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1
117672 Homework °í*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1074
117671 2022.3.23 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 908

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04