¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that children these days have a better or worse childhood than your generation?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-05-08 893

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think there are better parts and worse parts. The parts that got better are education, technology and welfare for children. on the other hand, the worse part is that the kids don't seem to be sensitive, compared to our generation. When I played with my cousin, I asked him what do you want to be when you grow up?. And then he said when I grow up, I will be an Youtuber. I think their dreams are limited because They get to know these things easily.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

I think there are better parts and worse parts. 
>> CORRECT

The parts that got better are education, technology and welfare for children. 
>> CORRECT

on the other hand, the worse part is that the kids don't seem to be sensitive, compared to our generation. 
>> On the other hand, the worse part is that the kids don't seem to be sensitive compared to our generation. 

When I played with my cousin, I asked him what do you want to be when you grow up?.
>> CORRECT

 And then he said when I grow up, I will be an Youtuber. 
>>  And then he said when I grow up, I will be a Youtuber. 

I think their dreams are limited because They get to know these things easily.
>> I think their dreams are limited because they get to know these things easily.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121720 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 1776
121719 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 2
121718 Having a child is. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 1497
121717 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 1
121716 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 1263
121715 Daily work sentence review request.[3 sentence] ±Ç*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 10
121714 homework Á¶*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 1502
121713 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 1
121712 Libary ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 2
121711 About Seoul ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 3
121710 Do you think your country should have more, or less, holidays?... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 4
121709 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 2
121708 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 1140
121707 who do you spend your free time with? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 6
121706 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 1117
121705 Health Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 2
121704 What are the toughest jobs in the world? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 1625
121703 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 1285
121702 What is good about renting something? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 1891
121701 8/18 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 1533

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04