¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that children these days have a better or worse childhood than your generation?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-05-08 879

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think there are better parts and worse parts. The parts that got better are education, technology and welfare for children. on the other hand, the worse part is that the kids don't seem to be sensitive, compared to our generation. When I played with my cousin, I asked him what do you want to be when you grow up?. And then he said when I grow up, I will be an Youtuber. I think their dreams are limited because They get to know these things easily.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

I think there are better parts and worse parts. 
>> CORRECT

The parts that got better are education, technology and welfare for children. 
>> CORRECT

on the other hand, the worse part is that the kids don't seem to be sensitive, compared to our generation. 
>> On the other hand, the worse part is that the kids don't seem to be sensitive compared to our generation. 

When I played with my cousin, I asked him what do you want to be when you grow up?.
>> CORRECT

 And then he said when I grow up, I will be an Youtuber. 
>>  And then he said when I grow up, I will be a Youtuber. 

I think their dreams are limited because They get to know these things easily.
>> I think their dreams are limited because they get to know these things easily.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121419 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 1250
121418 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 1459
121417 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 0
121416 Have you ever given a false excuse to get out of something you... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 1298
121415 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 2
121414 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 1152
121413 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 3
121412 My hope ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 1
121411 Diary ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 2
121410 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 0
121409 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 1533
121408 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 1125
121407 Are parties or gatherings better in people¡¯s houses or in party... ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 1365
121406 Why do you think people started leaving the rural areas and... ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 1784
121405 Tell me about your worst travel experience. ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 1470
121404 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 1
121403 How can Korean students prevent stress from all the pressure in... ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 1015
121402 shopping and travel ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 1057
121401 Why is it so easy for children to learn languages and so... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 4
121400 What are the health risks associated with your lifestyle and... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-07 1200

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04