¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that children these days have a better or worse childhood than your generation? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*
2022-05-12 599

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I can't say it is getting worse than my childhood indeed. because I know it is a change. now they are not playing outside with their friends. only indoor things such as video games, watching tv. when I was young boy, then I always go out to play with my friends and some older, younger friends. then also I could learn about something happened apart home and my parents. my world were small but there were so many things to I can learn. those thing were not on the textbooks, at the school, at home. those were so special experiences that I could have.
but at the present. children are online. they are in the internet. their world now is vast but it is only exist in the internet. they don't want to play and experience something outside. I can't blame their life style. it is changing. the thing we need to have is watch the change and trying to understand.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lim! 

That's true. Kids nowadays are so different. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

I can't say it is getting worse than my childhood indeed. 
>> I can't say that this generation's childhood is worse than mine. 

because I know it is a change. 
>> It is because change is constant. 

now they are not playing outside with their friends. 
>> Kids nowadays don't play that much with their friends anymore. 

only indoor things such as video games, watching tv. 
>> They do indoor things such as playing video games or watching T.V.

when I was young boy, then I always go out to play with my friends and some older, younger friends. 
>> When I was a young boy, I would usually go outside to play with my friends. Some of them are older and some are younger than me. 

then also I could learn about something happened apart home and my parents. 
>> I could learn a lot of things from outside my house. 

my world were small but there were so many things to I can learn. 
>> My world was small that time but there were so may things that I could learn. 

those thing were not on the textbooks, at the school, at home. those were so special experiences that I could have.
>> Those are the things that we can't learn from school, textbooks or our home. Those  are very special experiences that a person can have. 

but at the present 
children are online. 
>> But nowadays, children are always online. 

they are in the internet.
>> They use the internet a lot. 

 their world now is vast but it is only exist in the internet.
>> Their world is bad but only revolves on the internet. 

 they don't want to play and experience something outside. 
>> They don't want to play and experience things outside. 

I can't blame their life style. it is changing. 
>> I can't blame their lifestyle. It is changing. 

the thing we need to have is watch the change and trying to understand.
>> The things that we need to do do is adapt to everything and try to understand. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119742 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 2
119741 homework ¿ø*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 893
119740 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 625
119739 About festivals ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 12
119738 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 1
119737 Do you think being a student is the best time of your life? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 611
119736 What do most of the people around you dream of as their career?... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 665
119735 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 697
119734 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 604
119733 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 593
119732 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 600
119731 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 2
119730 homework ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 787
119729 6.9 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 553
119728 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 3
119727 [Homework] Q. Please tell me about your favorite movie. ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 2
119726 Should brands like Victoria\'s Secret use plus-sized models? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 1
119725 The couch potato. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 2
119724 What would your ideal house or apartment look like? / What are... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 2
119723 Why do you think facing death is a difficult experience? How can... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 577

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04