¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your opinion about the increasing number of unmarried Koreans in their 20s who don¡¯t want to

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2022-05-13 567

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is kind of international movement that young people don't want to get married due to the child rearing expenses. Prices are continously increasing around the world and the polarization of wealth has become more serious. It was possible to be successful,if people studied hard for their future life. However, it is almost impossible to get better job for poor people than rich people because children under the wealthy family receive more qualitive education from private tutors, in contrast poor people are not affordable to get better education.
Parenting is also problem for young people because couples are usually working in this era so many parents ask their mom to take care of their children. If they don't have any family members who can bring up their children, they should hire nanny that might need a lot of money. In addintion, we have countless problem like enterance fee of university, house price and aging society ect.I think adults must understand it and have to provide solution

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

It is kind of international movement that young people don't want to get married due to the child rearing expenses. 
>> CORRECT!
Prices are continously increasing around the world and the polarization of wealth has become more serious. 
>> CORRECT!
It was possible to be successful, if people studied hard for their future life. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> It was possible to be successful, if only people studied hard for what kind of life would they want in the future. 
However, it is almost impossible to get better job for poor people than rich people because children under the wealthy family receive more qualitive education from private tutors, in contrast poor people are not affordable to get better education.
>> However, it is almost impossible to get better job for poor people than rich people because children under the wealthy family receive more quality education from private tutors, in contrast poor peoplecan't afford to get better education.
Parenting is also problem for young people because couples are usually working in this era so many parents ask their mom to take care of their children. 
>> Parenting is also a problem for young people because couples are usually working in this era, so many parents ask their moms to take care of their children. 
If they don't have any family members who can bring up their children, they should hire nanny that might need a lot of money. 
>> If they don't have any family members who can look after their children, they should hire a nanny that might need a lot of money. 
In addintion, we have countless problem like enterance fee of university, house price and aging society ect.
>> In addition, we have countless problems like university entrance fees, house price and aging society, etc.
I think adults must understand it and have to provide solution
>> I think adults must understand it and have to provide solutions to this problem.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118867 my busiest day of week ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 352
118866 Should poor people be punished for stealing if they are stealing... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 507
118865 What is your all-time favorite movie? Why? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 454
118864 Writing Task(May 9th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 498
118863 5/9 HOMEWORK [{(IT\'S)ZOE\'S}ONE] ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 279
118862 Information À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 339
118861 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 0
118860 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 502
118859 Choice of the fast food ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 489
118858 What is the most famous female sport in your country? Why? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 563
118857 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 2
118856 Allowance ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 1
118855 What is the most positive change you have experienced in your... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 448
118854 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 347
118853 My family. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 475
118852 Would you rather have the perfect body or be super intelligent? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 489
118851 What are the things that usually annoy you? Explain your answer. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 441
118850 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 518
118849 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 407
118848 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 377

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04