¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How was your childhood in your time?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2022-05-17 488

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I was born in rural area which is northern part of Kyeonggi provience. My father was a taxi driver which is nice job to make money. My family didn't have any financial problem until my father had a car accident. We went out for dinner once a month, took a trip frenquently and had a plan to buy own house. But we spent a lot of money for medical expenses due to traffic accident. My father was admitted in the hospital for about a year and needed to pay huge money. The doctor told my mother that he was under the serious condition that might lost his life. Fortunately, he overcame from the injury. However, my family couldn't find proper house due to small budget. We rented a small house next to the church which my family attended. The pastor might rent it alomost free for us. Sinece the accident, mom and father worked hard. They didn't have any time to spend with children so, my sister and I stayed at home lonely. I felt really scared to be there without parents. I remember that we cried a

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I was born in rural area which is northern part of Kyeonggi provience. 
>> I was born in rural area which is northern part of Kyeonggi province. 
My father was a taxi driver which is nice job to make money. 
>> CORRECT!
My family didn't have any financial problem until my father had a car accident. 
>> CORRECT!
We went out for dinner once a month, took a trip frenquently and had a plan to buy own house.
>> CORRECT!
But we spent a lot of money for medical expenses due to traffic accident. 
>> But we spent a lot of money for medical expenses due to a road accident. 
My father was admitted in the hospital for about a year and needed to pay huge money. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> My father was admitted in the hospital for about a year and needed to pay a large amount of money. 
The doctor told my mother that he was under the serious condition that might lost his life.
>> The doctor told my mother that he was under a serious condition that might lose his life.
 Fortunately, he overcame from the injury. 
>>  Fortunately, he recovered from the injury. 
However, my family couldn't find proper house due to small budget. 
>> However, my family couldn't find a proper house due to small budget. 
We rented a small house next to the church which my family attended. 
>> CORRECT!
The pastor might rent it alomost free for us. 
>> The pastor might rent it almost for free, for us. 
Sinece the accident, mom and father worked hard. 
>> Since the accident, my mom and dad worked hard. 
OR >> Since then, my parents worked hard.
They didn't have any time to spend with children so, my sister and I stayed at home lonely. 
>> CORRECT!
I felt really scared to be there without parents. 
>> CORRECT!
I remember that we cried a
>> I remember that we cried a lot without them around for a moment.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118380 2022.4.20 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 451
118379 2022.4.19 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 428
118378 What kind of exercise do you think is best? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 1
118377 Is there a kind of beverage that you will never try? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 435
118376 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 1
118375 What makes me happy. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 442
118374 Why I would not to be a pilot ±è*¼º ÁøÇàÁß 2022-04-21 622
118373 What song would you like to dedicate to your parents and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 581
118372 Writing Task(Apr 19th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 463
118371 krowemoh 02/4 ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 430
118370 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 2
118369 I will read book the 1st. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 435
118368 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 3
118367 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 0
118366 Answer in complete sentences ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 417
118365 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 1
118364 What do you want to include in your ideal fitness program? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 470
118363 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 2
118362 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 416
118361 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 514

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04