¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are you worried about your future?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-05-19 338

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

For sure, at my age in South Korea, men worry about the future. getting my own house, getting a job, dating, etc. I'm most worried about how to get my own house, house prices have risen dramatically, and mortgage loans are also hard to get.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic! 

Yes, the prices of houses there are unbelievable! 
 
Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

For sure, at my age in South Korea, men worry about the future. 
>> For sure, men at my age here in South Korea usually worry about their future. 

getting my own house, getting a job, dating, etc. I'm most worried about how to get my own house, house prices have risen dramatically, and mortgage loans are also hard to get.
>> They usually worry about owning a house and getting a job. I am most worried about getting my own house because real estate prices have risen dramatically and mortgage loans are also hard to get. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118931 Find a job À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 386
118930 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 428
118929 Homework and .. ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 366
118928 52/1212 H2O2M2E2W2O2R2K2 ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 332
118927 What\'s your favorite gadget? Please some details in the next... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 368
118926 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 1
118925 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 2
118924 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 1
118923 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 2
118922 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 0
118921 Does class size affect students¡¯ learning? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 0
118920 What are the advantages and disadvantages of being bilingual? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 400
118919 Should poor people be punished for stealing if they are stealing... ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 1
118918 Do you have a friend that you haven\'t seen for a long time?... ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 400
118917 What is the strangest food you have ever tried? Tell me about it. ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 346
118916 What do you think about extreme sports? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 397
118915 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 396
118914 The good news ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 3
118913 Can goals help to change your life? How? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 416
118912 I wish live with my grandmother ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 341

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04