¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are you worried about your future?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-05-19 343

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

For sure, at my age in South Korea, men worry about the future. getting my own house, getting a job, dating, etc. I'm most worried about how to get my own house, house prices have risen dramatically, and mortgage loans are also hard to get.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic! 

Yes, the prices of houses there are unbelievable! 
 
Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

For sure, at my age in South Korea, men worry about the future. 
>> For sure, men at my age here in South Korea usually worry about their future. 

getting my own house, getting a job, dating, etc. I'm most worried about how to get my own house, house prices have risen dramatically, and mortgage loans are also hard to get.
>> They usually worry about owning a house and getting a job. I am most worried about getting my own house because real estate prices have risen dramatically and mortgage loans are also hard to get. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118870 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 1
118869 Which State in America do you really like to live in, and why? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 1
118868 If you can have a part-time job, what do you like it to be? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 2
118867 my busiest day of week ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 281
118866 Should poor people be punished for stealing if they are stealing... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 324
118865 What is your all-time favorite movie? Why? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 329
118864 Writing Task(May 9th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 311
118863 5/9 HOMEWORK [{(IT\'S)ZOE\'S}ONE] ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 164
118862 Information À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 224
118861 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 0
118860 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 278
118859 Choice of the fast food ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 314
118858 What is the most famous female sport in your country? Why? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 423
118857 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 2
118856 Allowance ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 1
118855 What is the most positive change you have experienced in your... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 306
118854 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 235
118853 My family. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 251
118852 Would you rather have the perfect body or be super intelligent? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 336
118851 What are the things that usually annoy you? Explain your answer. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 244

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04