¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are you worried about your future?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-05-19 555

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

For sure, at my age in South Korea, men worry about the future. getting my own house, getting a job, dating, etc. I'm most worried about how to get my own house, house prices have risen dramatically, and mortgage loans are also hard to get.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic! 

Yes, the prices of houses there are unbelievable! 
 
Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

For sure, at my age in South Korea, men worry about the future. 
>> For sure, men at my age here in South Korea usually worry about their future. 

getting my own house, getting a job, dating, etc. I'm most worried about how to get my own house, house prices have risen dramatically, and mortgage loans are also hard to get.
>> They usually worry about owning a house and getting a job. I am most worried about getting my own house because real estate prices have risen dramatically and mortgage loans are also hard to get. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119503 How important are clocks for you? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 511
119502 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 553
119501 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 826
119500 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 4
119499 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 1
119498 My frineds ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 4
119497 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 3
119496 What do you think about working four days a week? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 579
119495 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 524
119494 What\'s your ideal fitness program? / What do you want to... ±è*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 505
119493 What are the labor laws that had changed in your country? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 747
119492 Do you usually plan your weekends? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 714
119491 Do you easily trust people you barely know? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 693
119490 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 539
119489 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 395
119488 Describe the transportation system in your place. ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 1
119487 What is one food you can\'t live without? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 423
119486 What is one thing you will never change about yourself?/... À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 557
119485 5/31 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 560
119484 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04