¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should the government do regarding the air pollution in South Korea? Explain your

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-05-23 507

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, the government of South Korea should notify the air situations of here to the world.
It is hard to reduce the air pollution by ourselves because the biggest cause of the air pollution is China.
But if we speak about the situation of South Korea, then it could make worse situations.
Because of these reasons, I think we need to notify these situations to the world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

Those are great ideas!

 Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, the government of South Korea should notify the air situations of here to the world.
>> In my opinion, the government of South Korea should notify the world about this situation.

It is hard to reduce the air pollution by ourselves because the biggest cause of the air pollution is China.
>> CORRECT

But if we speak about the situation of South Korea, then it could make worse situations.
>> But if we speak about the situation of South Korea, there's a possibility that it can make situations worse. 

Because of these reasons, I think we need to notify these situations to the world.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118614 What is your definition of success and failure in life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 526
118613 Writing Task(Apr 29th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 837
118612 82/4 krowemoh ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 577
118611 What are the five most important things you should take on a... ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 689
118610 In your viewpoint, what are the advantages and disadvantages of... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 515
118609 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 1
118608 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 0
118607 hello Çö*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 564
118606 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 0
118605 I hate homework. ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 4
118604 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 2
118603 When was your most memorable school reunion? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 664
118602 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 3
118601 Do you think people should take a shower or a bath twice a day?... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 627
118600 What new clothes would you like to buy if you had lots of money?... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 552
118599 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 0
118598 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 0
118597 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 0
118596 What is your best experience in life? Explain why. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 0
118595 Which one do you think is better, electronic books or... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04