¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can we solve traffic problems there in South Korea?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-05-24 572

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think we have to spread people to other cities because too many citizens are living in Seoul.
Because of these reason, there are too my citizens in the around of Seoul and in Seoul.
So around Seoul, we can easily find different kinds of traffic problems.
But around the countrysides, we can easily experience that there are too less entertainment facilities.
Because of these reasons, I think the South Korean government have to spread the people to other cities.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

That's true. There are traffic jams because of too much cars on the road. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think we have to spread people to other cities because too many citizens are living in Seoul.
>> I think we have to spread the number of people to other cities because there are too many citizens in Soul. 

Because of these reason, there are too my citizens in the around of Seoul and in Seoul.
>> Because of this, Seoul is overpopulated. 

So around Seoul, we can easily find different kinds of traffic problems.
>> This causes a lot of traffic jams in the city. 

But around the countrysides, we can easily experience that there are too less 
entertainment facilities.
>> But when we go to country sides, we can go to different facilities much easier. 

Because of these reasons, I think the South Korean government have to spread the people to other cities.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119310 When I fight my brother. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 485
119309 Homework ¾È*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 508
119308 What do you think will happen if we lived in a world without... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 528
119307 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 352
119306 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 433
119305 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 487
119304 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 484
119303 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 1
119302 The natural disaster ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 2
119301 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 1
119300 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 344
119299 What questions do they ask when going through immigration at the... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 422
119298 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 492
119297 What animal best represents you? Why? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 2
119296 Writing Task(May 19th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 635
119295 5.24 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 510
119294 What do you think will happen if we lived in a world without... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 468
119293 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 497
119292 What common family problem which is not too serious do you... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 7
119291 5/24 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 572

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04