¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can we solve traffic problems there in South Korea?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-05-24 621

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think we have to spread people to other cities because too many citizens are living in Seoul.
Because of these reason, there are too my citizens in the around of Seoul and in Seoul.
So around Seoul, we can easily find different kinds of traffic problems.
But around the countrysides, we can easily experience that there are too less entertainment facilities.
Because of these reasons, I think the South Korean government have to spread the people to other cities.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

That's true. There are traffic jams because of too much cars on the road. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think we have to spread people to other cities because too many citizens are living in Seoul.
>> I think we have to spread the number of people to other cities because there are too many citizens in Soul. 

Because of these reason, there are too my citizens in the around of Seoul and in Seoul.
>> Because of this, Seoul is overpopulated. 

So around Seoul, we can easily find different kinds of traffic problems.
>> This causes a lot of traffic jams in the city. 

But around the countrysides, we can easily experience that there are too less 
entertainment facilities.
>> But when we go to country sides, we can go to different facilities much easier. 

Because of these reasons, I think the South Korean government have to spread the people to other cities.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118702 But it\'s my personality :) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 455
118701 My favorite is traditional books:) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 601
118700 My best experience ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 674
118699 Nowadays, a lot of offices employ open-space designs instead of... ±è*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 513
118698 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 656
118697 What is your definition of success and failure in life? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 371
118696 Shoes È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 544
118695 2022.5.2 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 530
118694 What is traveling for you? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 1
118693 Look around your house and make two (sentences) using: 1. There... ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 691
118692 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 3
118691 If you can recommend a Korean dish to a foreigner, what would it... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 512
118690 5/2... ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 376
118689 What can you say about the roles played by villains in any... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 518
118688 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 2
118687 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 0
118686 Why do you think people have pets? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 550
118685 Would you ever consider having your parents live with you when... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 617
118684 Last Friday Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 604
118683 What makes reading enjoyable for you? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 495

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04