¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think will happen if we lived in a world without animals?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-05-25 446

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think there will be more people with depression in the world. It's inevitable that there will be fewer people to love or communicate with. Also, animals are the ones who comfort and comfort you when you're tired.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic! 

They play a very important role in our lives. I think we can't survive without them. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think there will be more people with depression in the world. 
>> CORRECT

It's inevitable that there will be fewer people to love or communicate with. 
>> CORRECT

Also, animals are the ones who comfort and comfort you when you're tired.
>> Also, animals are the ones who comfort us when we are tired. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120357 About ourselves ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 3
120356 2. homawork Á¶*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 0
120355 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 0
120354 Are video games good for relieving stress? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 958
120353 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 13
120352 annoys & stanger ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 1319
120351 How do you think the world would be different if there was only... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 1278
120350 What if you could live longer than any other people, what will... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 1
120349 What exactly are people looking for when they buy luxury goods? ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 1018
120348 Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 0
120347 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 2
120346 why is english fluency significant for you? ±è*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 2
120345 What is the cheapest yet valuable thing that you own? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 935
120344 6/30 HOMEWORK(PLEASE CHEER... ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 757
120343 Which matters more to you: skill, appearance, or character? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 1
120342 What do you usually do with your brothers for fun? ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 975
120341 What do you do to save as much electricity as possible during... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 1146
120340 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 918
120339 My Interview story (I will send answers of the questions in... À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 867
120338 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04