¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think will happen if we lived in a world without animals?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-05-25 627

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think there will be more people with depression in the world. It's inevitable that there will be fewer people to love or communicate with. Also, animals are the ones who comfort and comfort you when you're tired.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic! 

They play a very important role in our lives. I think we can't survive without them. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think there will be more people with depression in the world. 
>> CORRECT

It's inevitable that there will be fewer people to love or communicate with. 
>> CORRECT

Also, animals are the ones who comfort and comfort you when you're tired.
>> Also, animals are the ones who comfort us when we are tired. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120920 What is the perfect thing to do during summer there in your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 870
120919 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 783
120918 [2022.07.20_H.W] What do you like best about your culture? ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 818
120917 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 3
120916 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 582
120915 Why do you think people send their elders to nursing homes? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1206
120914 homework on July 18th ÀÌ* ÁøÇàÁß 2022-07-20 824
120913 There are people who are anti-vaxxers. What do you think of them? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1180
120912 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1
120911 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1241
120910 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1209
120909 Entertain ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 2
120908 What kind of exercise would you like to try in the future? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 990
120907 Please help me check grammar. ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1127
120906 homework Á¶*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 998
120905 What are the proven benefits of eating meat? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1109
120904 About allowing children ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 2
120903 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 2
120902 Homework ÀÌ*¸í ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 2
120901 What genre of English books do you like to read? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04