¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think will happen if we lived in a world without animals?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-05-25 588

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think there will be more people with depression in the world. It's inevitable that there will be fewer people to love or communicate with. Also, animals are the ones who comfort and comfort you when you're tired.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic! 

They play a very important role in our lives. I think we can't survive without them. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think there will be more people with depression in the world. 
>> CORRECT

It's inevitable that there will be fewer people to love or communicate with. 
>> CORRECT

Also, animals are the ones who comfort and comfort you when you're tired.
>> Also, animals are the ones who comfort us when we are tired. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118010 In many modern societies, grandchildren rarely spend any quality... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 1
118009 Would it be uncomfortable if I had a disability? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 834
118008 Homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 521
118007 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 1
118006 How would you feel if there weren¡¯t any holidays? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 548
118005 Good evening! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 547
118004 What is your opinion about people who have tattoos? Would you... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 825
118003 Do you think there is still inequality between men and women... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 0
118002 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 1
118001 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 984
118000 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 1001
117999 If a Blackout in My City... ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 863
117998 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 4
117997 My Morning Routine ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 839
117996 I\'m afraid:( ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 712
117995 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 2
117994 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 553
117993 What is your favorite food? How often do you eat it? ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 2
117992 2022.4.1 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 778
117991 2022.4.4 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 768

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04