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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Would you agree that death penalty should be implemented?

작성자: 황*하
2022-06-02 273

회원님의 영작문

It is legal penalty in Korea. There still are many people on death row in jail. However, there has been an unofficial moratorium since 1998. Thus execution are considered to be abolished de facto. There are different views on capital purnishment. Supporters insist that it prevent pontential crime, it is justifiable to execute the most cruelest and the life of ordinary citizen is more valuable than criminal's one. In contrast, opponents say that life is dignity itself, The effect of death penalty is not so high as expected, it may be missused by politics, and there remains possibility of erroneous judgment. Although, most countries try to abolish death penalty, many people in Korea, especially young generation want that execution take place because the sentence is really lenient to criminals even though they commit a consecutive muder due to psycologcal problem or drinking alcohol. I know that it is the best way to make our country safe if so, the number of crime will be reduced.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

It is legal penalty in Korea. 
>> It is a legal penalty in Korea. 
There still are many people on death row in jail. 
>> There are still many people on death row in jail. 
However, there has been an unofficial moratorium since 1998. 
>> CORRECT!
Thus execution are considered to be abolished de facto. 
>> CORRECT!
There are different views on capital purnishment. 
>> There are different views on capital punishment. 
Supporters insist that it prevent pontential crime, it is justifiable to execute the most cruelest and the life of ordinary citizen is more valuable than criminal's one. 
>> Supporters insist that it prevents potential crimes; it is justifiable to execute the cruelest and the life of ordinary citizen is more valuable than the criminal's life. 
In contrast, opponents say that life is dignity itself, The effect of death penalty is not so high as expected, it may be missused by politics, and there remains possibility of erroneous judgment.
>> In contrast, opponents say that life is dignity itself, the effect of death penalty is not so high as expected, it may be misused by politics, and there remains a possibility of erroneous judgment.
 Although, most countries try to abolish death penalty, many people in Korea, especially young generation want that execution take place because the sentence is really lenient to criminals even though they commit a consecutive muder due to psycologcal problem or drinking alcohol. 
>>  Although, most countries try to abolish death penalty, many people in Korea, especially young generation want that execution take place because the sentence is really lenient to criminals even though they commit a consecutive murder due to psychological problem or drinking alcohol. 
I know that it is the best way to make our country safe if so, the number of crime will be reduced.
>> I know that it is the best way to make our country safe, and if so, the number of crime will be reduced.
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