¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¿ø*¿¬
2022-06-03 693

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The most interesting city to visit in our country is Busan Haeundae. Beacause Haeundae beach is very nice and every year,there is Haeundae sand festival. In sand festival we can meet many nice work.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Grace! ^^
Thank you again for this~
Please check the corrections. ^^
Have a good weekend!

- T. Rina


1. The most interesting city to visit in our country is Busan Haeundae. 
>> The most interesting city to visit in our country is Haeundae, Busan.

2. Beacause Haeundae beach is very nice and every year,there is Haeundae sand festival. 
>> Because Haeundae beach is very nice and there is a sand festival every year.

3. In sand festival we can meet many nice work
>> During the sand festival, we can meet many nice people.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121393 Being a mother Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-07 2
121392 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-07 857
121391 How can you prepare for potential risks? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 2
121390 08.04.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 1
121389 Tourist 2 ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 0
121388 At a tourist information center ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 0
121387 Is there a political person/politician that you look up to? If... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 1432
121386 What is your opinion about the article \"Gender Equality\"? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 1145
121385 Propose ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 1
121384 Is it better to stay at home on holiday or go somewhere? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 965
121383 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 2266
121382 8/5 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1313
121381 Who is the best author for you? Why? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1155
121380 my favorite movie line Á¶*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1216
121379 I hate summer ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 819
121378 If you had to leave your home quickly because of danger, what... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 761
121377 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 905
121376 If you will build a simple cafe in your area, what will you do... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1812
121375 How technology has changed in my life. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1136
121374 What kinds of things do you complain about? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1067

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04