¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that you should change your eating habits?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-06-04 538

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I can do it. But it's hard to change my eating habits that I usually eat food at midnight. It's because I feel very be hangry at that time. And I enjoy eating ramen, chicken, pizza and hamburger at midnight. It can make me getting more full than eating at other times. So it should take a long time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic!  

I'm guilty of that as well but we need to change it because it is bad for our health. hahaha!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Yes, I can do it. But it's hard to change my eating habits that I usually eat food at midnight. 
>> Yes, I can do it but it's hard to change my eating habits wherein I eat food during midnight. 

It's because I feel very be hangry at that time. 
>> It's because I feel very hangry at that time. 

And I enjoy eating ramen, chicken, pizza and hamburger at midnight. 
>> CORRECT

It can make me getting more full than eating at other times. 
>> It can make me more full than eating other food sometimes. 

So it should take a long time.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120066 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 2
120065 homework À±*¿ø ÁøÇàÁß 2022-06-22 646
120064 Do you agree that dogs are man\'s best friend? Explain your... ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 729
120063 Spociness is taste, not pain ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 725
120062 Do you think getting old is a good thing or a bad thing? Explain... ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 690
120061 What has been the hardest thing to get used to? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 75
120060 Some people think that facing challenges improves a person. Do... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 1
120059 Where do you always eat out? Can you please describe the place? ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 5
120058 What is your hatest food and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 514
120057 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 585
120056 6/21 HOMEWORKw(゚¬¥゚)w ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 623
120055 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 2
120054 [Homework] Q. How is your country¡¯s traditional music different... ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 1
120053 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 867
120052 homework ¿ø*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 649
120051 Trade places. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 1
120050 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 800
120049 What things about morning would you like to change? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 795
120048 About culture of moving into a new home. ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 1
120047 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 651

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04