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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

online or traditional education?

작성자: 유*영
2022-06-05 782

회원님의 영작문

Which is better for effective learning, online or traditional education?
If you don't have a mind to learn, learning traditional education is better for you. Because online education requires the attitude like a concentration. During online education, It's more easy to do the other behavior like doing game or texting messeage. So I think that learning traditional education is good way for element students. But, If you could control the attitude , learning online is more effective way. Online education remove the barrier of location. So, You could study in anywhere. In my case, I'm studying the English in online education. I meet the English teacher using skype app. Online education save the time because I don't need to go to the academic place.

I have a wedding ceremony on saturday. I will attend a wedding ceremony. I have 4 days vocation. Saturday, Sunday, Monday is a memorial day and Tuseday is a my annual vacation. I will visit the Pohang to see my parents in-law.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Young! 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this one. See you later!

~T. Roanne ^_^
================================================
If you don't have a mind to learn, learning traditional education is better for you. 
>> Correct!
Because online education requires the attitude like a concentration. 
>> Correct!
During online education, It's more easy to do the other behavior like doing game or texting messeage. 
>> During online education, it's easier to do the other behavior like doing a game or texting messages. 
So I think that learning traditional education is good way for element students. 
>> So I think that learning traditional education is a good way for elementary students. 
But, If you could control the attitude , learning online is more effective way. 
>> But, If you could control the attitude, learning online is a more effective way. 
Online education remove the barrier of location. 
>> Online education removes the barrier of location.
So, You could study in anywhere. 
>> So, you could study  anywhere.
In my case, I'm studying the English in online education. 
>> Correct!
I meet the English teacher using skype app. 
>> I meet the English teacher using Skype app. 
Online education save the time because I don't need to go to the academic place.
>> Online education saves the time because I don't need to go to the academic place.

I have a wedding ceremony on saturday. 
>> I have a wedding ceremony on Saturday. 
I will attend a wedding ceremony. I have 4 days vocation. 
>> I will attend a wedding ceremony. I have 4 days vacation. 
Saturday, Sunday, Monday is a memorial day and Tuseday is a my annual vacation. 
>> Saturday, Sunday and Monday is a memorial day and Tuesday is a my annual vacation. 
I will visit the Pohang to see my parents in-law.
>> I will visit Pohang to see my parents in-law.

NOTE: PLEASE TAKE NOTE OF THE SPELLING, COMMA AND SPACES, CAPITAL AND SMALL LETTERS AS WELL AS IN USING ARTICLES LIKE, A, AN, THE. ALSO, IF WE TALK ABOUT DAYS OF THE WEEK, WE SHOULD CAPITALIZED THE FIRST LETTER.

IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS, FEEL FREE TO ASK ME LATER. SEE YOU! ^_^

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