¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that you should change your eating habits? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-06-07 697

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't think that I should change my eating habits.
Because I'm eating well, and also I am eating many kinds of dishes that are beneficial to my body.
Even tough I hate some of vegetables, I am trying to eat those kinds of vegetables.
Because of these reasons, I don't think that I should change my eating habits.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John!  

That's good to hear!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I don't think that I should change my eating habits.
>> CORRECT

Because I'm eating well, and also I am eating many kinds of dishes that are beneficial to my body.
>> It is because I am eating well and most of the food that I eat are beneficial to my body. 

Even tough I hate some of vegetables, I am trying to eat those kinds of vegetables.
> Even though I hate some vegetables, I still try to eat most of them. 

Because of these reasons, I don't think that I should change my eating habits.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118570 4/27 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 716
118569 What school policy have you violated in high school? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 595
118568 What\'s the best way to protect yourself from getting infected... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 662
118567 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1
118566 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 697
118565 My daily life ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1
118564 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1
118563 What was your success story in your company? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 641
118562 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1
118561 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 3
118560 Homework : What is your worst experience in life that you can\'t... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 2
118559 Do you care what a restaurant looks like, or is the food the... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1
118558 What is your best experience in life? Explain why. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 655
118557 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 0
118556 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 0
118555 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 495
118554 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 741
118553 home ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1359
118552 Bad Experience ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 834
118551 about discussions with other people À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 576

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04