¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your most dangerous experience in life?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*
2022-06-10 987

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

One thing popped up when I was in Australia.
I went to a river to cross for three days. My friends and I rented a canoe and packed some camp equipment. At the river, human hands made nothing, and we just held a map that someone drew. We ought to freely go canoeing for 3days without a guide, GPS, navigation system or motor boat but the silly map.
The weather was so lovely and clear. Well, it was scorching, but I had already got used to the weather there. And the river had quite enough current because it was at the end of the wet season. So it rained a lot for the past few months, yet draught. It was fine for canoeing.
It happened at the very beginning, about 30mins after we left the bank.
But I was nervous. This was my first time canoeing on the vast river, especially for a few days, so I was quite a bit stupid at the beginning of the journey. I needed some more trials to start.
Well, however, the current never let me as I wanted to.

to be continued...

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lim!  

I would love to hear the rest of it tomorrow. Hahaha!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

One thing popped up when I was in Australia.
>> One thing that popped up in my mind and that is when I was in Australia. 

I went to a river to cross for three days. 
>> I crossed a river for 3 days. 

My friends and I rented a canoe and packed some camp equipment. 
>> CORRECT

At the river, human hands made nothing, and we just held a map that someone drew. 
>> There were no man made things there. We just held a map the someone drew. 

We ought to freely go canoeing for 3days without a guide, GPS, navigation system or motor boat but the silly map.
>> CORRECT

The weather was so lovely and clear. 
>> CORRECT

Well, it was scorching, but I had already got used to the weather there. 
>> CORRECT

And the river had quite enough current because it was at the end of the wet season. 
>> CORRECT

So it rained a lot for the past few months, yet draught.
>> It was raining for the past few months, yet it was still draught. 

It was fine for canoeing.
>> Everything was fine when we were canoeing. 

It happened at the very beginning, about 30mins after we left the bank.
>> CORRECT

But I was nervous. 
>> Although, I was nervous at that time. 

This was my first time canoeing on the vast river, especially for a few days, so I was quite a bit stupid at the beginning of the journey. 
>> CORRECT

I needed some more trials to start.
>> CORRECT

Well, however, the current never let me as I wanted to.
>> However, the current never let me have the control that I wanted to. 

to be continued.
>> To be continued. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119082 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 2
119081 What are your hobbies and how long have you had your hobby? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 606
119080 If you could be a toy, what would you be? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 583
119079 Pay for Birthday party. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 454
119078 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 0
119077 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 479
119076 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 599
119075 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 470
119074 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 494
119073 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 0
119072 1st homework ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 530
119071 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 1
119070 What is the most dangerous thing you¡¯ve done? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 0
119069 No visiting ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 3
119068 What is your opinion about ¡°edu-sitters¡±? Do you think they... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 779
119067 What do you want to be improved in your country\'s health care... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 741
119066 The most expensive thing. ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 463
119065 How was your childhood in your time? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 507
119064 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 1
119063 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 474

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04