¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

the capsized canoe

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*
2022-06-10 780

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My canoe just capsized by the current caused a bunch of dead trees. Current swallowed my canoe into the river and had just gone far away with my luggage, and I was hung on the dead trees. I was stuck in the dead trees. Those trees saved my life, but the problem is I just left the bank 30mins ago, and the journey remains two nights and three more days. Because of the current, my friends couldn't reach me. They were slightly getting far away from me. At that moment, that area had no mobile phone signal. And we've got no equipment to contact such as a satellite phone or walkie-talkie. It seemed I should be there until my friends reached the finish line. For two nights and three days. That river was famous for saltwater crocs, freshwater crocs and many wild animals. The weather was scorching, and half of my body sunk in the water, making me colder. It is threatening my life to be dead. My brain worked with a superpower. I imagined all the possibilities that I could make to save myself.....

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lim!
Thank you for you composition.
Take note of the suggestions below.
If you have questions, please clarify with your teacher.
You can also ask me next time we get the chance to talk.
Happy weekend!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
My canoe just capsized by the current caused a bunch of dead trees. 
>> My canoe just capsized because of the current caused by a bunch of dead trees. 
Current swallowed my canoe into the river and had just gone far away with my luggage, and I was hung on the dead trees. 
>> The current swept my canoe away into the river and had just gone far away with my luggage while I kept hanging on to dead trees. 
I was stuck in the dead trees. 
>> I was stuck with the dead trees. 
Those trees saved my life, but the problem is I just left the bank 30mins ago, and the journey remains two nights and three more days. 
>> Those trees saved my life, but the problem was I just left the bank 30 minutes earlier, and the journey would still take three more days.
Because of the current, my friends couldn't reach me. 
>> Correct
They were slightly getting far away from me. 
>> Correct
At that moment, that area had no mobile phone signal. 
>> At that moment, there was no mobile phone signal in that area.
And we've got no equipment to contact such as a satellite phone or walkie-talkie. 
>> We also had no equipment to use in order to contact others such as a satellite, a phone or a walkie-talkie. 
It seemed I should be there until my friends reached the finish line. 
>> It seemed I would be there until my friends reached the finish line. 
For two nights and three days. 
>> It would last three days and two nights.
That river was famous for saltwater crocs, freshwater crocs and many wild animals. 
>> Correct
The weather was scorching, and half of my body sunk in the water, making me colder. 
>> The weather was scorching, and half of my body was under the water, making me feel colder. 
It is threatening my life to be dead. 
>> It was threatening my life. 
My brain worked with a superpower. 
>> Correct
I imagined all the possibilities that I could make to save myself.
>> I imagined all the possibilities that could save myself.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118739 How do you understand the statement: ¡®You only live once... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-04 1249
118738 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-04 0
118737 Of course, but it¡¯s a burden to me because I have to pay ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-04 691
118736 Apr 29th, 2022 ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-04 527
118735 normal life ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-04 550
118734 Which one do you think is better, living with relatives or... ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-04 588
118733 Which one do you think is better, living with relatives or... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-04 599
118732 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-04 723
118731 If you can have on super power, what would it be? Why? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-05-04 1
118730 Do you agree that \" dolharubang\" brings good luck to women? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-04 0
118729 What are the things you provide for your loved ones? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-04 691
118728 Which one do you think is better, living with relatives or... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-04 654
118727 Which do you think is more important: following the dreams your... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 661
118726 5/3 HOMEWORK (HAHAT) ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 517
118725 Where do you mostly get annoyed? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 783
118724 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 1
118723 Homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 524
118722 Country À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 598
118721 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 0
118720 What could be some of the reasons why people don\'t want to get... ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 792

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04