¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

It men feel more emotional, do you think that the world will be more balanced?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¼ö
2022-06-14 612

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If men feel more emotional, the world more balanced. men don't like to have sympathy, Their best value is different with women. That is achievement, in another words, taking something. They don't focus the process. So, if they care the process with emotion & sympathy, The world's direction will be changed.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Jisu!

I couln't agree more with you. As mentioned in class, both genders have their respective traits. If we learn to become the other, then, we can master coexisting with each other.

Thank you for the brilliance in your answer. Take note that the underlined or underscored letters, words, or phrases are suggestions to enhance your sentences. Kindly go over them when you have the time to do so.

See you again soon for more meaningful discussions.

-T. Donna =)

If men feel more emotional, the world more balanced. 
>>  If men feel more emotional, the world would be more balanced. 

men don't like to have sympathy, Their best value is different with women. 
>> Men don't like to have sympathy since their best value is different with women. 

That is achievement, in another words, taking something. 
>> Correct!
Or: That is by achievements, in others words, (taking/ possessing) something.

They don't focus the process. 
>> They don't focus on the process.

So, if they care the process with emotion & sympathy, The world's direction will be changed.
>>  So, if they care about the process with emotion & sympathy, the world's direction will be changed.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119462 Is it always necessary for a married couple to have kids? Why or... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 0
119461 What was the best lecture you have attended? Why do you think... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 605
119460 Is there a kind of movie that you will never watch? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 600
119459 Do you think vaccines are important and effective? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 563
119458 Writing Task(May 27th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 306
119457 My whishes. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 566
119456 Writing Task(May 30th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 489
119455 Today more countries import food from different parts of the... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119454 5/30 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 437
119453 The poverty life. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 416
119452 What my favorite subject is. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 583
119451 What is a bad hobby and how should we avoid it? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 545
119450 Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119449 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119448 Do you like business trips? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 2
119447 My wish this summer ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 492
119446 How can loneliness be bad for people¡¯s health? How can lonely... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 407
119445 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 549
119444 What kind of diet have you tried? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 2
119443 Do you think vaccines are important and effective? Why or why... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04