¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

6.14 Writing

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-06-14 692

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What is your favorite place in your city and why?

In my city, there are a few places within ten minutes distance by driving near where I live now. A big pond around which I can take a walk and a huge theme park are among those. The former is what my wife likes to go and the latter is the place my daughter loves to go. Actually, we have the annual memberships for the park.

And we go to the East Sea thesedays since my daugher loves to play with the sand on the beach. The beach sand is really soft, compared to the on on the land

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Seung!  

Wow, you live in the wonderful place. There is a lot of access to beautiful cites. I'm happy for you! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my city, there are a few places within ten minutes distance by driving near where I live now. 
>> In my city, there are a few places within ten minutes distance by driving, near where I live now. 
A big pondaround which I can take a walk and a huge theme park are among those. 
>> There is a big pond here where I can talk walks. There's also a huge theme park here. 

The former is what my wife likes to go and the latter is the place my daughter loves to go. 
>> The "Former" is the place where my wife likes to go to and the "Latter" is my daughter's favorite. 

Actually, we have the annual memberships for the park.
>> Actually, we have an annual memberships for the park.

And we go to the East Sea thesedays since my daugher loves to play with the sand on the beach. 
>> We usually go to the East Sea these days since my daughter loves to play with the sand on the beach. 

The beach sand is really soft, compared to the on on the land
>> The beach sand is really soft, compared to the ones on the land. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120723 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 1159
120722 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 966
120721 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 1101
120720 What do you want to include in your ideal fitness program? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 2
120719 Homework for 13.07.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 2
120718 Imagine you could time travel. Would you go to the past or the... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 1133
120717 What I think about tattoos ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 1376
120716 The human being is said to be a \"social animal\". One of the... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 754
120715 About the Thechnology. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 1146
120714 What¡¯s the best way for a country to bring in more tourists? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 2
120713 Is it better for kids to have siblings? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 1199
120712 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 3
120711 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 0
120710 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 3
120709 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 0
120708 What is the most special memory you share with your sibling? ä*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 1119
120707 What is your opinion about people with tattoos? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 791
120706 What is your opinion about people with tattoos? Explain your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 992
120705 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 923
120704 Bullying Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04