¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

6.17

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-06-17 1217

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What holiday do you think should be removed from your country and why?
>I don't see any reason of any holiday here that has to be removed. Instead, I need more new holidays to be made, designated as National Holidays. The weekends and the holidays mean a lot to me. I quit working in a private company and decided to study to get a job as civil servant. Even though I earned a lot of money while working in the company, I had no free time after the official work hours on weekdays and even on weekends. I worked like a machine everyday. Sometimes I had to work until 2 am, got back to my house at around 3 am and came back to the office by 8 am. If I hadn't been a machine, what other things could have been called a machine? I couldn't see any bright future with my future family that I had imagined to have. And now? I'm content with my job.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi U Seung!  

Yes, we need more holidays. People are like robots nowadays. We don't have any social life anymore. We need to have more days to lay off. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I don't see any reason of any holiday here that has to be removed. 
>>I don't see any reason why any holiday should be removed here in our country. 

Instead, I need more new holidays to be made, designated as National Holidays. 
>> Instead, we need more new national holidays. 

The weekends and the holidays mean a lot to me. 
>> The weekends and holidays mean a lot to me. 

I quit working in a private company and decided to study to get a job as civil servant. 
>> CORRECT

Even though I earned a lot of money while working in the company, I had no free time after the official work hours on weekdays and even on weekends. 
>> Even though I earned a lot of money while working in the company, I had no free time after working hours on both weekdays and weekends. 

I worked like a machine everyday. 
>> CORRECT

Sometimes I had to work until 2 am, got back to my house at around 3 am and came back to the office by 8 am. 
>> Sometimes I had to work until 2 am, go back to my house at around 3 am and come back to the office by 8 am. 

If I hadn't been a machine, what other things could have been called a machine? 
>> If I was not like a machine, then what is?

I couldn't see any bright future with my future family that I had imagined to have. 
>> I couldn't see any bright future with family that I imagined to have.

And now? I'm content with my job.
>> Now, I am contented with my job. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121712 Libary ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 2
121711 About Seoul ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 3
121710 Do you think your country should have more, or less, holidays?... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 4
121709 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 2
121708 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 1074
121707 who do you spend your free time with? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 6
121706 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 1076
121705 Health Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 2
121704 What are the toughest jobs in the world? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 1553
121703 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 1258
121702 What is good about renting something? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 1804
121701 8/18 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 1481
121700 What is the motto of your life and why is that your motto? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 1305
121699 Exercise Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 2
121698 Use the following words in your own sentence: 1. dreamt 2. house... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 1400
121697 Humor Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 2
121696 08.18.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 2
121695 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 1182
121694 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 1719
121693 What are some of the most popular books in the world? Why do so... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 1306

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04