¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

6.17

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-06-17 1153

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What holiday do you think should be removed from your country and why?
>I don't see any reason of any holiday here that has to be removed. Instead, I need more new holidays to be made, designated as National Holidays. The weekends and the holidays mean a lot to me. I quit working in a private company and decided to study to get a job as civil servant. Even though I earned a lot of money while working in the company, I had no free time after the official work hours on weekdays and even on weekends. I worked like a machine everyday. Sometimes I had to work until 2 am, got back to my house at around 3 am and came back to the office by 8 am. If I hadn't been a machine, what other things could have been called a machine? I couldn't see any bright future with my future family that I had imagined to have. And now? I'm content with my job.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi U Seung!  

Yes, we need more holidays. People are like robots nowadays. We don't have any social life anymore. We need to have more days to lay off. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I don't see any reason of any holiday here that has to be removed. 
>>I don't see any reason why any holiday should be removed here in our country. 

Instead, I need more new holidays to be made, designated as National Holidays. 
>> Instead, we need more new national holidays. 

The weekends and the holidays mean a lot to me. 
>> The weekends and holidays mean a lot to me. 

I quit working in a private company and decided to study to get a job as civil servant. 
>> CORRECT

Even though I earned a lot of money while working in the company, I had no free time after the official work hours on weekdays and even on weekends. 
>> Even though I earned a lot of money while working in the company, I had no free time after working hours on both weekdays and weekends. 

I worked like a machine everyday. 
>> CORRECT

Sometimes I had to work until 2 am, got back to my house at around 3 am and came back to the office by 8 am. 
>> Sometimes I had to work until 2 am, go back to my house at around 3 am and come back to the office by 8 am. 

If I hadn't been a machine, what other things could have been called a machine? 
>> If I was not like a machine, then what is?

I couldn't see any bright future with my future family that I had imagined to have. 
>> I couldn't see any bright future with family that I imagined to have.

And now? I'm content with my job.
>> Now, I am contented with my job. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118990 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 623
118989 Describe the most interesting person you met on one of your... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 738
118988 What is your opinion about the increasing number of unmarried... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 660
118987 Is there something you wish you could do with your free time but... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 476
118986 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 511
118985 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 525
118984 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 3
118983 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 539
118982 The most interesting person I met on one of my travels. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 706
118981 Education ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 604
118980 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 645
118979 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 1
118978 name of school ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 593
118977 Strange food in China Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 656
118976 If you can change something about the government of South Korea,... ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 2
118975 the school ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 438
118974 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 553
118973 Is there something you wish you could do with your free time but... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 509
118972 Where do you prefer to live when you retire, in the city or in... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 1
118971 5.12 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 446

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04