¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What holiday do you think should be removed from your country and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*
2022-06-20 1128

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

well I don't know about the holidays. it never concerns my work. the national holidays are not for me. on that holidays, I should work harder for incoming people. since I worked for food and beverage industry, I have never got a rest on those days. but I don't blame on the work. it is my choice so and I don't want to go to a place fully filled up by people. I don't like be at a crowd space. I much prefer to be in a quiet place or at home. so, for me, it doesn't matter if we remove all the holidays(maybe I want to). anyhow I will be in the brewery or the pub so.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lim!  

You and my husband have the same thinking since both of you are in the food and beverage industry. You guys never really get the chance to enjoy these days. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.


well I don't know about the holidays. 
>> Well, I don't know a lot about holidays. 

it never concerns my work.
>> It never concerns my work.

the national holidays are not for me. 
>> The national holidays are not for me. 

on that holidays, I should work harder for incoming people. 
>> On holidays, I should work harder for  incoming people. 

since I worked for food and beverage industry, I have never got a rest on those days. 
>> Since I work for the food and beverage industry, I never rest on those days. 

but I don't blame on the work. 
>> But I don't blame my work. 

it is my choice so and I don't want to go to a place fully filled up by people. 
>> It is my choice so and I don't want to go to a place that is filled up by people. 

I don't like be at a crowd space. 
>> I don't like being in crowded places. 

I much prefer to be in a quiet place or at home. 
>> I prefer to be in a quiet place or at home. 

so, for me, it doesn't matter if we remove all the holidays(maybe I want to). 
>> So for me, it doesn't matter if we remove all the holidays. 

anyhow I will be in the brewery or the pub so.
>> Anyhow, I will be in the brewery or the pub. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119457 My whishes. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 629
119456 Writing Task(May 30th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 583
119455 Today more countries import food from different parts of the... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119454 5/30 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 582
119453 The poverty life. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 494
119452 What my favorite subject is. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 666
119451 What is a bad hobby and how should we avoid it? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 632
119450 Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119449 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119448 Do you like business trips? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 2
119447 My wish this summer ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 604
119446 How can loneliness be bad for people¡¯s health? How can lonely... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 483
119445 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 735
119444 What kind of diet have you tried? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 2
119443 Do you think vaccines are important and effective? Why or why... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119442 What was the best suggestion you have ever received from someone? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 447
119441 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 675
119440 about buying things ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119439 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 4
119438 Do you think everyone should have a holiday from school or work... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 589

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04