¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What holiday do you think should be removed from your country and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-06-20 887

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, my country doesn't need to remove any holiday.
Because I think it doesn't matter that much, and also I'm adapted in those holidays, so I think it is the best set of holidays.
And also if we remove several holidays that we feel like we don't need, then it can cause a crash between opinions and opinions.
Because of these reasons, I don't think that we need to change some kinds of holidays in my country.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John!  

Yes, this can cause a conflict. Many people will disagree since this is the only time that they have for themselves. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, my country doesn't need to remove any holiday.
>> CORRECT

Because I think it doesn't matter that much, and also I'm adapted in those holidays, so I think it is the best set of holidays.
>> It is because I think it doesn't matter that much. I have also already adapted to those holidays, so I think they are the best days. 

And also if we remove several holidays that we feel like we don't need, then it can cause a crash between opinions and opinions.
>> Also, if we remove several holidays, it can cause a crash between people's opinions.

Because of these reasons, I don't think that we need to change some kinds of holidays in my country.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119683 How would your life change if you were fluent in English? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 1
119682 Do you think there should be the death penalty? Why or why not? ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 3
119681 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 776
119680 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 610
119679 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 539
119678 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 640
119677 How do you feel when you do not work out or get any exercise? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 4
119676 What do you think is the best job in the world? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 581
119675 [Homework] Q. What makes a restaurant famous? ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 2
119674 6/7 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 3
119673 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 424
119672 How important is freedom for you? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 545
119671 Shabu shabu is my soul food ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 657
119670 We can\'t meet each other ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 478
119669 I like my eating habit ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 666
119668 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 591
119667 I know many happily married couples. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 624
119666 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 516
119665 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 530
119664 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04