¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What holiday do you think should be removed from your country and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-06-20 1060

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, my country doesn't need to remove any holiday.
Because I think it doesn't matter that much, and also I'm adapted in those holidays, so I think it is the best set of holidays.
And also if we remove several holidays that we feel like we don't need, then it can cause a crash between opinions and opinions.
Because of these reasons, I don't think that we need to change some kinds of holidays in my country.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John!  

Yes, this can cause a conflict. Many people will disagree since this is the only time that they have for themselves. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, my country doesn't need to remove any holiday.
>> CORRECT

Because I think it doesn't matter that much, and also I'm adapted in those holidays, so I think it is the best set of holidays.
>> It is because I think it doesn't matter that much. I have also already adapted to those holidays, so I think they are the best days. 

And also if we remove several holidays that we feel like we don't need, then it can cause a crash between opinions and opinions.
>> Also, if we remove several holidays, it can cause a crash between people's opinions.

Because of these reasons, I don't think that we need to change some kinds of holidays in my country.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118961 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 2
118960 Why do people sometimes think that doing homework is boring? ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 2
118959 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 3
118958 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 1
118957 How often do you travel? And why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 662
118956 Strange food. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 786
118955 Keeping myself updated. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 2
118954 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 640
118953 If you can change something about the government of South Korea,... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 515
118952 [Homework] Please tell me about your favorite restaurant. ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 3
118951 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 627
118950 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 672
118949 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 536
118948 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 534
118947 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 676
118946 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 698
118945 Is there something you wish you could do with your free time but... ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 0
118944 Do you think that children these days have a better or worse... ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 733
118943 How would your life change if you could do whatever you want? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 575
118942 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04