¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think getting old is a good thing or a bad thing? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-06-21 931

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think getting old is just a natural thing that we need to accept.
If we don't get old, then we need to live forever even tough out love ones are dead.
And if we live forever, then it will be so boring and we will lose the meaning of our lives.
Because of these reasons, I think getting old is just a natural thing that we have to accept.
So I will get old even tough I have a chance to live forever without getting old.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John!  

Getting old is the only inevitable thing in this world. It's irreversible. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think getting old is just a natural thing that we need to accept.
>>CORRECT

If we don't get old, then we need to live forever even tough out love ones are dead.
>> If we don't get old, then we need to live forever even though our loved ones are already dead. 

And if we live forever, then it will be so boring and we will lose the meaning of our lives.
>>CORRECT

Because of these reasons, I think getting old is just a natural thing that we have to accept.
>>CORRECT

So I will get old even tough I have a chance to live forever without getting old.
> > CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121623 What are your concerns about transportation in your country? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 1145
121622 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 0
121621 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 1030
121620 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 935
121619 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 1
121618 Is Chuseok seen as a time of year to reunite with family,... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 1458
121617 Bad service ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 2
121616 What kind of phone do you have? etc. ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 1248
121615 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 946
121614 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 851
121613 8/16 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 1186
121612 8/16 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 1450
121611 Which is more comfortable: sleeping alone or sleeping with... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 2
121610 Tell us something interesting about yourself ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 1040
121609 Daily essay À±*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 5
121608 What is the significance of the holiday today? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 691
121607 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 1232
121606 When people are wealthy or successful, do they have a special... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 1503
121605 My hardship ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 1177
121604 What is the best thing about being married? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04