¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the best country in the world and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-06-23 1038

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the best country is Sweden. It's because that country's welfare is the best in the world. But I have to pay half of my salary in taxes. So far, I guess it's a good thing. Because I can't receive the national pension from my generation. The main reason that Korea is aging now and the birth rate is decreasing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic!  

I would love to live in that country as well. They are well disciplined. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think the best country is Sweden. 
>> CORRECT

It's because that country's welfare is the best in the world. 
>> CORRECT

But I have to pay half of my salary in taxes. 
>> If I live there, I have to pay half of my salary in taxes. 

So far, I guess it's a good thing. 
>> CORRECT

Because I can't receive the national pension from my generation. 
>> It's because here in South Korea, I can't receive the national pension from my generation. 

The main reason that Korea is aging now and the birth rate is decreasing.
>> The main reason that South Koreas populations is decreasing and the birth rate is decreasing. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119708 homework ¿ø*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 333
119707 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 3
119706 Do you think we will be able to cure cancer one day? What can we... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 1
119705 About climate and weather ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 7
119704 What are some good points about social networking? What are some... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 422
119703 How important is farming in your country? And Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 441
119702 Do you think it is good to always ask for suggestions? Why or... ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 393
119701 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 397
119700 What do you think is the best job in the world? Why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 384
119699 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 366
119698 homeworrk ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 384
119697 What is the best historical place there in South Korea and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 0
119696 What do you think is the best job in the world? Why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 0
119695 homework ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 253
119694 Do you prefer to go shopping or just browse? Why? 20220606... Le* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 565
119693 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 747
119692 I always try to find a positive action plan that I can do in any... ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 594
119691 Soeun\'s Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 3
119690 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 440
119689 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04