¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Who is always there to help you when you need it badly?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àü*ä
2022-06-24 784

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My order sister always help me. She 28 years old. So we are three years apart. She have many experience more than me. So when I was have some troubles, I asked her for what can I do.

When I was move in the Seoul at that time, I didn't adjust in new area. It's no hard to me and I need to help always.
And I think her need someone too.
In fact, We were help each other.

Last time, when I was going home late at night after part time work. I was scared about some people who drunk.
Once, someone followed me. So I called my sister to pick up me
And she came to me with pleasure.

In opposite situation I helped her also.
When I was not work in company.
It was rainy day, I was going her company to pick her up and bring her umbrella.

Beside that, we shared interested things. We bought something to need each other.

But now we aren't live together anymore. So sometimes I miss her.but we are always bother each other.
My sister is the most reliable and important family for me

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Eun Chae!
Thank you for sharing about your sister.  I hope you read the corrections and take note of the correct ones. ^^

~T, Maine


My order sister always help me. 
>> My older sister always helps me. 
She 28 years old. 
>>She is 28 years old. 
So we are three years apart. 
>>Correct. 
She have many experience more than me. 
>>She has many experiences more than me. 
So when I was have some troubles, I asked her for what can I do.
>>So when I have some troubles, I ask her what to do. 
When I was move in the Seoul at that time, I didn't adjust in new area. 
>>When I moved to Seoul at that time, 
It's no hard to me and I need to help always.
>>It's not hard for me and I always need help. 
And I think her need someone too.
>>And I think she needs someone too. 
In fact, We were help each other.
>>In fact, we help each other. 
Last time, when I was going home late at night after part time work. 
I was scared about some people who drunk.
>>
>>Last time when I was going home late at night after work, I was scared of drunk people. 
Once, someone followed me. So I called my sister to pick up me
>> Once, someone followed me, so I called my sister to pick me up. 
And she came to me with pleasure.
>>Correct. 
In opposite situation I helped her also.
>>As a complement, I also helped her. 
When I was not work in company.
>>It was when I didn't work in the company. 
It was rainy day, I was going her company to pick her up and bring her umbrella.
>>It was a rainy day.  I was going to her company to pick her up and give her umbrella. 
Beside that, we shared interested things. 
>>Besides that, we shared interesting things with each other. 
We bought something to need each other.
>>We bought something we both need. 
But now we aren't live together anymore. 
>>But now, we aren't living together anymore. 
So sometimes I miss her.
>>So sometimes I miss her.   
but we are always bother each other.
>> But we always bother each other. 
My sister is the most reliable and important family for me
>> My sister is the most reliable and important family member for me. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119448 Do you like business trips? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 2
119447 My wish this summer ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 632
119446 How can loneliness be bad for people¡¯s health? How can lonely... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 507
119445 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 772
119444 What kind of diet have you tried? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 2
119443 Do you think vaccines are important and effective? Why or why... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119442 What was the best suggestion you have ever received from someone? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 502
119441 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 702
119440 about buying things ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119439 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 4
119438 Do you think everyone should have a holiday from school or work... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 630
119437 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 767
119436 How much time ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 3
119435 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119434 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119433 What is the meaning of \"give and take\"? what does this mean to... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 602
119432 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 1068
119431 What festivals or celebrations does your country have during the... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119430 What are the pros and cons of eating out? ±è*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 578
119429 What do you think will happen if we lived in a world without... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04