¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

sad

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2022-06-27 906

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is very sad news that young people's suicide rate is increasing for whatever reason.

I can found easily depressed children in school after covid 19.

Eating alone and playing games alone such non social activities become a daily routine for people.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Ms. Lily!
I agree on your point. and thank you for sharing your thought.
Children are very vulnerable with depression because they tend to find ways how to express what they feel. and if a significant person cannot provide that for them. they tend to divert  somethin g else and commonly to smartphones or games.
Have a great day! 
Aki~
It is very sad news that young people's suicide rate is increasing for whatever reason.
>>> CORRECT
I can found easily depressed children in school after covid19.
>>> I can easily find depressed children in school after covid19.
Eating alone and playing games alone such non social activities become a daily routine for people
.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120062 Do you think getting old is a good thing or a bad thing? Explain... ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 652
120061 What has been the hardest thing to get used to? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 75
120060 Some people think that facing challenges improves a person. Do... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 1
120059 Where do you always eat out? Can you please describe the place? ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 5
120058 What is your hatest food and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 473
120057 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 530
120056 6/21 HOMEWORKw(゚¬¥゚)w ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 602
120055 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 2
120054 [Homework] Q. How is your country¡¯s traditional music different... ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 1
120053 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 831
120052 homework ¿ø*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 622
120051 Trade places. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 1
120050 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 761
120049 What things about morning would you like to change? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 762
120048 About culture of moving into a new home. ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 1
120047 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 643
120046 What comes to mind when you hear the word ¡®time¡¯? Do you ever... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 1036
120045 About the time. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 574
120044 Do you think getting old is a good thing or a bad thing? Explain... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 828
120043 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 730

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04