¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

sad

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2022-06-27 1124

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is very sad news that young people's suicide rate is increasing for whatever reason.

I can found easily depressed children in school after covid 19.

Eating alone and playing games alone such non social activities become a daily routine for people.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Ms. Lily!
I agree on your point. and thank you for sharing your thought.
Children are very vulnerable with depression because they tend to find ways how to express what they feel. and if a significant person cannot provide that for them. they tend to divert  somethin g else and commonly to smartphones or games.
Have a great day! 
Aki~
It is very sad news that young people's suicide rate is increasing for whatever reason.
>>> CORRECT
I can found easily depressed children in school after covid19.
>>> I can easily find depressed children in school after covid19.
Eating alone and playing games alone such non social activities become a daily routine for people
.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120185 6/26 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-26 825
120184 [Homework] Q. What Korean foods do you think are hard to cook?... ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-26 1
120183 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-26 818
120182 When talking to someone, what matters more to you, to hear how... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-26 1108
120181 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-26 1359
120180 Identification ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-26 3
120179 Can you bear not having your cell phone for a week? À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-25 950
120178 Thanks for your teaching. ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-25 789
120177 What is your favorite Korean dish and why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-25 3
120176 My favorite Amusement park ride. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-06-25 652
120175 My favorite Amusement park ride. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-06-25 909
120174 What is your opinion about the growing stagflation in your... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-25 927
120173 Have you ever thought of entering the medical industry? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-25 951
120172 In your opinion, what are the possible problems that your... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-25 799
120171 What do you do to set a good example to others on how to become... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-25 747
120170 Who is always there to help you when you need it badly? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 706
120169 Writing Task(Jun 64th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 1366
120168 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 651
120167 Homework and question ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 755
120166 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 606

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04