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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What is the scariest story that you know?

작성자: 신*섭
2022-06-28 494

회원님의 영작문

If I mentioned this story, you won't be able to sleep. It's not what I heard, it's what I've actually been through. When I was a soldier... After night shift, I was going to sleep. Suddenly, my military colleague came in and sat down on my bed. I was trying to sleep, but he keep bothering me. So I told him to get out of here, He was quiet and told me I had money under my bed, and I looked at it, and at that moment, a hand-like figure was trying to pull me down. My head was dragged down to the floor and I could only move my eyes, but when I looked at my military colleague for help, he disappeared and I heard only his laughter.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Elic!  

It still gave me shivers even if I read it for the second time. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I mentioned this story, you won't be able to sleep. 
>> If I tell you this story, you won't be able to sleep. 

It's not what I heard, it's what I've actually been through. 
>> I didn't hear this from someone, I actually experienced it. 

When I was a soldier... 
>> It happened when I was still a soldier. 

After night shift, I was going to sleep. 
>> After the night shift, I was about to go to sleep. 

Suddenly, my military colleague came in and sat down on my bed. 
>>CORRECT

I was trying to sleep, but he keep bothering me. 
>> I was trying to sleep, but he kept bothering me. 

So I told him to get out of here, He was quiet and told me I had money under my bed, and I looked at it, and at that moment, a hand-like figure was trying to pull me down. 
>> So I told him to get out of here. He was quiet and told me I had money under my bed so I looked down. At that moment, a hand-like figure was trying to pull me down. 

My head was dragged down to the floor and I could only move my eyes, but when I looked at my military colleague for help, he disappeared and I heard only his laughter. 
>> CORRECT
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