¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing Task(Jun 28th, 2022)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-06-28 658

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In your own opinion, Should kids have cell phones?
Yes. kids must have cell phones.
A lot of parents say buying their children cell phones at their early age will spoil them and children do not need to have cell phones. But I don't see that.
I bought my daughter her cell phone this year. She is only 6 years old. However, I thought that she has to know how to make a phone call to me or her mom and how to take our call when needed, like when she is in an imergency with no adults around her. The phone she has has the minimum function : making calls, taking calls and taking pictures.
And when she gets older, I will buy her a new mobile phone with more functions.
The first and the foremost reason why I want buy a cell phone for her is for her safety!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, U Seung! 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this one! Have a good night!

~T. Roanne ^_^
=============================================
Yes. kids must have cell phones.
>> Yes, kids must have cell phones. 
A lot of parents say buying their children cell phones at their early age will spoil them and children do not need to have cell phones. But I don't see that.
>> Correct! OR A lot of parents say buying their children cell phones at their early age will spoil them and children do not need to have cell phones, but I don't see that.
I bought my daughter her cell phone this year. She is only 6 years old. 
>> Correct! 
However, I thought that she has to know how to make a phone call to me or her mom and how to take our call when needed, like when she is in an imergency with no adults around her. 
>> However, I thought that she has to know how to make a phone call to me or her mom and how to take our call when needed, like when she is in an emergency with no adults around her. 
The phone she has has the minimum function : making calls, taking calls and taking pictures.
>> The phone she has has the minimum function: making calls, taking calls and taking pictures.
And when she gets older, I will buy her a new mobile phone with more functions.
>> Correct! 
The first and the foremost reason why I want buy a cell phone for her is for her safety!
>> The first and the foremost reason why I want to buy a cell phone for her is for her safety!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122770 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2581
122769 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2936
122768 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 1
122767 My style ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 1
122766 What do you think of cosmetic surgery? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 3037
122765 What can you say about foreign students staying in South Korea... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2767
122764 Hello ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 3861
122763 free ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2634
122762 Is cancer a health problem concern for most people in your... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 0
122761 What is your opinion about the exposure of children on... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 3615
122760 10.03.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2
122759 10/4 ¼Û*ö ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2555
122758 What winter sports do you know? Have you done any? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 3
122757 Smoke ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-03 2943
122756 How do you see yourself 10 years from now? Kindly answer in not... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-03 2
122755 10/3 À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-10-03 3376
122754 What do you regret doing and want to apologize for? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-03 2
122753 How do you start your day? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-03 2338
122752 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-03 2543
122751 How can make children have habit to eat healthy food? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-03 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04