¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*¿ø
2022-06-30 1278

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Describe an activity that keeps you healthy while you enjoy / You should mention: What the activity is, Where you do the activity, Whom you do the activity with, and Why you think doing it is healthy.

The activity that keeps our healthy while we enjoy is playing sport. I play soccer in Royale parc with my firends. I'll have healthy corps when I play sport and we can enjoy while playing sport.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hi Se Won,
Thank you for answering your homework. You have good ideas but I suggest making your answer longer by elaborating and sharing more of your experiences when speaking and writing You can elaborate yourself and you can find words to use for your correct grammatical structures.  You can improve your writing by understanding model texts and how they're structured. I would recommend you keep a daily essay to practice your writing skills. Keep improving. ~ Teacher QUENNY..

¡¤ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Describe an activity that keeps you healthy while you enjoy / You should mention: What the activity is, Where you do the activity, Whom you do the activity with, and Why you think doing it is healthy.
>> Describe an activity that keeps you healthy while you enjoy it / You should mention: What the activity is, Where you do the activity, Whom you do the activity with, and Why you think doing it is healthy.(CORRECT)
The activity that keeps our healthy while we enjoy is playing sport. I play soccer in Royale parc with my firends. I'll have healthy corps when I play sport and we can enjoy while playing sport.
>> Like everybody else, I like to stay healthy while also enjoying life at the same time. Playing sports like Soccer is what I enjoy and one of my favorite hobbies. I play Socer with my friends in Royale Park and I'll have healthy corps when I play sport. And playing Soccer improves my health because it lowers my body fat and improves my muscle tone. It also builds my strength and endurance that's why I enjoy playing Soccer with my friends to enjoy life and stay healthy. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Describe an activity that keeps you healthy while you enjoy / You should mention: What the activity is, Where you do the activity, Whom you do the activity with, and Why you think doing it is healthy.

The activity that keeps our healthy while we enjoy is playing sport. I play soccer in Royale parc with my firends. I'll have healthy corps when I play sport and we can enjoy while playing sport.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121214 In your opinion, are dress codes important? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-31 1364
121213 Tell me about your favorite restaurant. ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-31 831
121212 What do you think is the worst natural disaster? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-31 696
121211 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-31 1051
121210 Are goals necessary to achieve success? Why or why not? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-07-31 937
121209 What gadget is very destructive in your opinion? Share your... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-31 1008
121208 Do you think you are prepared for any disaster? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-31 4
121207 07.29.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-31 1
121206 Should parents try to teach their children before they go to... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-31 752
121205 Rome ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-30 1
121204 What is the worst thing that could happen if you take some risk?... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-30 1
121203 How do you think a person can become a good listener? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-30 833
121202 What is the best atmosphere, background or mood when reading a... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-30 1040
121201 What are you looking forward to in your future English classes? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-30 893
121200 About the drunken people ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-29 890
121199 11/4 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-29 1007
121198 Can you tell me about a time when you were happy? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-29 1110
121197 Is possession of firearms among civilians legal? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-29 2
121196 What do you do when you feel pressured? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-29 1200
121195 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-29 1453

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04