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영작교정 게시판

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can you give some examples when the common man has an edge over a celebrity?

작성자: 신*진
2022-06-30 844

회원님의 영작문

In my opinion, the most apparent edge that distinguish between common people and celebrity is money. There are lots of people who upload videos in youtube and post scripts in other SNSs. But we don't call all of them as a celebrity, So, for me, the people who make money through SNS activities can be called as celebrities because the fact that they can earn money means that they are influentive enough to be called as celebrities. I don't really know that how the system works but it is already famous that all of youtubers have to have more that 1k subscribers to apply youtube for themselves to do financial activity. So it means that youtube let only celebrities to earn money. Furthermore, the most popular way that instagram influencers can make money is the advertisement from the diverse companies. It seems like that the advertisement preceded in the famous channel can bring out significant economic benefit. And influence is the criteria that can decide which channel can afford.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hey, Sue. Job well done with this homework as well. I appreciate the effort you put into answering the homework. Good job and I look forward to more. ~Teacher Jane ^___^


In my opinion, the most apparent edge that distinguish between common people and celebrity is money. 
>> In my opinion, money is the most apparent edge that distinguishes between common people and celebrities. 

There are lots of people who upload videos in youtube and post scripts in other SNSs. 
>> There are lots of people who upload videos on YouTube and post scripts on other SNSs. 

But we don't call all of them as a celebrity, So, for me, the people who make money through SNS activities can be called as celebrities because the fact that they can earn money means that they are influentive enough to be called as celebrities. 
>> But we don't call all of them celebrities so for me, the people who make money through SNS activities can be called celebrities because the fact that they can earn money means that they are influential enough to be called celebrities. 

I don't really know that how the system works but it is already famous that all of youtubers have to have more that 1k subscribers to apply youtube for themselves to do financial activity. 
>> I don't really know how the system works but it is already widely known that all YouTubers have to have more than 1k subscribers in order to gain profit/ finances. 

So it means that youtube let only celebrities to earn money. 
>> So it means that YouTube allows only celebrities to earn money. 

Furthermore, the most popular way that instagram influencers can make money is the advertisement from the diverse companies. 
>> Furthermore, the most popular way that Instagram influencers can make money is the advertisement from diverse companies. 

It seems like that the advertisement preceded in the famous channel can bring out significant economic benefit. 
>> It seems like the advertisement preceded in the famous channel can bring out significant economic benefit. 

And influence is the criteria that can decide which channel can afford.
>> And influence is the criteria that can decide which channel can gain more profits. 

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