¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

cheap long lasting

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼­*ȯ
2022-07-04 850

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

umm maybe it is hard question..because each people think different about that issue. but in my opinion i love cheap one. you know
we have to consider every part of the product when we buy something. but if we buy long lasting product there must be some bad part. you know long lasting things are expensive right? after i buy long lasting things and find some error on it. i can't litter it because it is expensive!! but when i buy cheap one i can easliy throw away. so l think cheap produt is more efficient

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Robin!
Thanks for this essay.  Another tip for you to increase your score is to use various vocabulary or expressions.  Use synonyms and not only the same words in your answer.  That's how native speakers do it. ^^


~T. Maine

umm maybe it is hard question..because each people think different about that issue. 
>>Maybe it is a hard question because each person thinks differently about this issue. 
but in my opinion i love cheap one. 
>>But in my opinion I love a cheap one. 
you know we have to consider every part of the product when we buy something. 
>>You know we have to consider each part of the product when we buy something. 
but if we buy long lasting product there must be some bad part. 
>>But if we buy a long-lasting product there must be some bad parts of it. 
you know long lasting things are expensive right? 
>>You know long-lasting things are expensive, right?
after i buy long lasting things and find some error on it.  i can't litter it because it is expensive!! 
>>After I buy long-lasting things and find some errors in them, I can't throw them away because they are costly. 
but when i buy cheap one i can easliy throw away. 
>>But when I buy cheap ones, I can easily put them away. 
so l think cheap produt is more efficient
>>So I think cheap products are more efficient and useful in some ways. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120043 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 921
120042 Would you rather be smart or beautiful or handsome? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 962
120041 What is your favorite summer activity? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 1049
120040 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 1240
120039 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 1057
120038 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 865
120037 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 686
120036 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 1612
120035 Do you like shopping for yourself or for others? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 5
120034 Which one is more comfortable: living in the urban areas or... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 809
120033 my location (Since the Opic is a speaking test, I will do my... ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 971
120032 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 782
120031 What can you say about the fathers taking more part in caring... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 1109
120030 I\'ve never tried it, but I want to try it. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 835
120029 Are there any activities that you used to do but don\'t do... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 1543
120028 Can you name restaurants in your area that serve food from other... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 0
120027 Family responsibilities, zombi movie. À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 798
120026 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 1
120025 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 991
120024 What kind of food will you not eat? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 843

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04