¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Looking back on your life so far, talk about a time when you exercised your independence—perha

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2022-07-04 1397

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I left my home when I was 20 years old. My university is really far from my hometown which takes about 3 hours by a train and a car. I asked my parents to rent a house for me because I needed to spend a lot of time in the public transportations. However, my parents were not able to support me due to financial problem. Fortunately, one of my friend would like to leave his home, so we decided to live together near my school. We encountered a lot of problem but we could overcome it because we were quite young. It is not a good memory, but I can say that it helps me a lot to construct my personality. There are many advantages living alone. I know how to cook, do laundry and I am good at washing dishe but there is some disadvantages. I sometimes feel lonely and miss my mom's food. I thought it is kind of my strength but my mother in law didn't think it is worth experience for her daughter because she wanted her daughter to get married with someone who were living under the harmonious family

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


I left my home when I was 20 years old. 
>> CORRECT!
My university is really far from my hometown which takes about 3 hours by a train and a car. 
>> CORRECT!
I asked my parents to rent a house for me because I needed to spend a lot of time in the public transportations. 
>> I asked my parents to rent a house for me because I needed to spend a lot of time in using public transportations. 
However, my parents were not able to support me due to financial problem. 
>> However, my parents were not able to support me due to financial problems. 
Fortunately, one of my friend would like to leave his home, so we decided to live together near my school. 
>> Fortunately, one of my friends would like to leave his home, so we decided to live together near my school. 
We encountered a lot of problem but we could overcome it because we were quite young. It is not a good memory, but I can say that it helps me a lot to construct my personality. 
>> CORRECT!
There are many advantages living alone. 
>> CORRECT!
I know how to cook, do laundry and I am good at washing dishe but there is some disadvantages. 
>> I know how to cook, do laundry, and I am good at washing dishes, but there are also some disadvantages. 
I sometimes feel lonely and miss my mom's food. 
>> CORRECT!
I thought it is kind of my strength but my mother in law didn't think it is worth experience for her daughter because she wanted her daughter to get married with someone who were living under the harmonious family
>> I thought it is one of my strengths but my mother-in-law didn't think it is a worthy experience for her daughter because she wanted her daughter to get married with someone who lives in a harmonious family.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118339 The influence of books. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 437
118338 homework ±è*Å ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 433
118337 What positive effect has stress on you? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 0
118336 writing task - Tony ±è*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 1
118335 4/19 homework ヾ(≧¡ä≦*)o ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 408
118334 The best place in my city Çö*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 1160
118333 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 2
118332 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 1
118331 What is your must-have item when traveling? Why? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 364
118330 skate ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 6
118329 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 1
118328 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 3
118327 What are some of the advantages of books vs. movies? How about... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 556
118326 Which would you choose: A stressful job with very high pay or a... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 0
118325 Which would you choose: A stressful job with very high pay or a... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 409
118324 I prefer a relaxing weekend. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 442
118323 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 389
118322 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 460
118321 HOMEWORK. ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 493
118320 Deal with money. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04